


Falling for You (over and over again)

by celestial_ringleader



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Naga AU, Alternate Universe- Wing AU, Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Other, Oviposition, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, TGSFanFicFeb2019, Whump, also more characters, daily prompt collections, ill add more tags as i add more chapters, only in one chapter i swear, this is all just small drabbles of unbeta'd word vomit, tw: animal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-20 12:50:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 28,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17622701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestial_ringleader/pseuds/celestial_ringleader
Summary: -*cracks knuckles*- Well here we go, it's about time I start writing again and what better way to do it then a good ol prompt list hosted by my discord server \o/Each chapter will be /different/ and ill put the subject in the author's notes at the beginning of each chapterBear with me, I'm trying my best to write quicker(also this will be mostly Barlyle)





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> No warnings apply, it's just the two of them falling in love

When Phillip was asked about his play, he hardly expected to turn to face an, admittedly handsome, man smiling down at him with a smile that could light up even the coldest and darkest tunnel. To Phillip, it looked like a sunrise outside his window, peaking just over the trees surrounding his old home (if he can even call it a home now), one of which he can stare at for hours on end. The man’s voice was as smooth as honey when he complimented his play, talking to him like an old friend he hasn’t seen in many years, his hands moving around as he spoke. Phillip felt himself slowly being hypnotized by him, but shoved the feeling down as he waved off the man’s praise.

When Phillip was invited out for a drink, he felt his world being turned on his head as he was led to a small, quaint bar, enraptured in conversation with the man, who introduced himself as the one and only PT Barnum from the museum-turned circus just in the center of town square. PT talked of just anything that came to mind, mainly focusing on his circus and the troupe, talking of them both with the same pride and joy as any proud parent.  Of course to preserve what little reputation he has, he blatantly lied about never seeing his show despite sneaking in there no less than a week ago. Phillip could hardly comment, deciding to just listen and add on idly, seeing a literal gleam in PT’s eye when Phillip complimented him with loose-lips.

When Phillip was offered a job, a chance to escape this monotone cycle that has become his life, he at first refused. But PT was persistent, never relenting once, never backing off no matter how much Phillip insisted he was content, ignoring how much he would love to join this man and his crazy endeavors. Phillip glared up at him, watching intently as his movements became more frantic, following his hands, his eyes, his lips. He wasn’t sure if the odd feeling in his chest was completely from the whiskey when he would meet those gorgeous hazel eyes for the first time.

Phillip, eventually, took his offer, hoping that everything this man was promising would be true. Of course he was mildly annoyed that he would now be known as PT’s “apprentice”, but that same charming smile dulled that down more than the whiskey coursing through his body, if not more.

Up until this very evening, his life used to be predictable and bland, but as he was brought to the circus, stumbling on his feet, laughing with PT, he realized his life would be so much different.

The brief, yet passionate, drunken kiss in PT’s office only made sure Phillip would be haunted by that smile, that voice, that  _ laugh _ in his dreams that night and many more nights to come.

If this is what PT Barnum had to offer after their first night together, Phillip couldn’t even imagine what the other days may hold.


	2. Vertigo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings apply, minor warning for injuries but its nothing severe, also this is implied polyamory (Charity/Phineas/Phillip)

Phineas didn’t know why he ran into that fiery inferno that was his circus, maybe it was his guilt of leaving his friends, his family, his partner over his own greed and intense want, but at the moment he couldn’t even begin to try and rationalize himself as he ripped off his coat, chasing after his partner.

If he couldn’t save the building, there’s no way in Hell he would allow the man he dragged out of his life into his to burn alive. Phineas shouted, coughing as ran, calling out for Phillip, hoping he wasn’t already too late. Phineas swore he could feel the hot tears down his face when he heard nothing, all hope was lost for him in that instant as he stood where the center ring used to be.

At least until he heard a small voice call out for him, it was quiet in the roar of the flames, but Phineas heard it as if it was shouted from a rooftop.   


“ _ Phineas.. _ ”

In an instant, Phineas was there, in an instant he was picking up Phillip despite how much it hurt him to even think, but the hope that his partner is alive kept him moving. He gently hooked one arm under Phillip’s back and one under his legs, lifting him up. Normally the black soot covering his face would have made him unrecognizable, but those stunning blue eyes conveyed so much hope, so much  _ relief _ , that there was no denying it was Phillip looking back at him.

“ _ It’s okay, I’ve got you, Phillip. _ ”

However, the relief didn’t prevent the toxic smoke from infecting his lungs, making his vision go fuzzy as he searched for his one exit, which, judging from the menacing groan from above him, was probably going to close up much too soon. Everything hurt, every part of him was screaming for him to just collapse, but he couldn’t, he refused to. He started this whole mess, he dragged Phillip into this so he was going to drag Phillip out of it. He hardly registered a beam hitting him from behind until he felt what little air he had left being forced out of him. But he kept running, kept holding onto Phillip’s limp body.

It was some miracle as he breached the Hell that was his circus, holding Phillip in his arms. The cool air made him feel dizzy, his ears were ringing, his skin and lungs burned, his vision was fading to black.

He felt a sense of vertigo as he toppled over, the world spinning as he fell onto the cool dirt below him, holding Phillip to his chest, the loud scream of his youngest daughter being heard over the crowd.

Then everything went dark.

The next thing he knew, he was waking up in the hospital, Charity’s hand in his, Phillip laying in the bed beside him, their fingers loosely intertwined as well. 

Phineas didn’t even realize he started crying. He hoped to God this wasn’t a dream.

Phillip smiled at him, tightening his hand around his while Charity copied the action with a soft laugh, kissing his knuckles.

Phineas felt dizzy again, but not from any invisible smoke this time.


	3. Missing Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> just wholesome reminiscing \o/

The man’s heart stopped for a moment when he came across the photograph. He was dead certain that it had been lost years ago along with his old home. He swore his eyes were deceiving him, but as he held the photograph, slightly yellow with age and tattered around the edges, he could only stare as a small smile played on his lips.

On it, he saw a man, tall and proud, a tidy beard across his face, a black top hat atop his head only making him look taller. Next to him sat a woman only slightly shorter than him, her dark hair done up in a neat, intricate bun, bringing out her light skin. Between the two of them, a toddler sat on the woman's lap, his hair just as dark as the womans. Phineas knew immediately who they were, a familiar warmth growing in his chest. He remembers the exact moment the picture was taken despite being only three at the time, he remembers his mother chiding him for moving while the photographer took the photo but also giving into a fit of giggles when his father made a ridiculous sound, just to see his son and wife laugh.

Phineas leaned back in his chair, abandoning the pile of papers in favor of reminiscing. He thinks back forty years, when he was so much smaller, so much more innocent, before the harsh realities world tried to restrain him, before the streets molded him into the man he is now.

***

His mother had been calling his name for about ten minutes, searching around the small cabin, eventually coming across what she’s been searching for sitting amongst a pile of her shawls in her and her husbands closet. 

“There you are, Taylor, what are you doing here?” she kneeled down, a smile on her face, 

Phineas heard himself reply, “I read a picture book and I wanted to dress up as the man in the red coat!” he proudly showed off the red shawl over his shoulders and his fathers top hat, which slipped down his face,

“Were you reading the circus book again?” she wrapped her arms around him, lifting Phineas off the ground, bringing him to his bedroom, “You could have asked me to read it to you.”

Phineas huffed, leaning onto his mother, “I didn't want to wait until bedtime.” he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, resting his head on her shoulder, “Father says it’s silly but I want to! Imagine being around elephants  _ all the time! _ And being able to dress up in costume  _ everyday! _ ”

“That does sound exciting.” she spins him around, “Who’s to say you’re not the elephant from the amount of peanuts you eat!” she kissed his cheek, opening the door to his bedroom with spectacular dexterity,

“Mom!” Phineas pushed against her with a giggle. He sighs, “All the other boys say it's crazy..that I’m out of my mind.”

His mother put him down on his small cot, pushing the top hat up, “Well, it seems like they can’t appreciate that lovely imagination of yours. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, your brain is amazing just the way it is and eventually someone will see it as well as I do. I know you’ll do amazing things one day and I’ll be right there for you,” she pauses, her hazel eyes looking into his equally as brown ones, running a hand through Phineas’ messy brown hair, “Your father told me you drew something for the other day, he was very happy about it.”   


“Yeah! And he even said he would make the coat for me! It would have a B on the sleeve and have gold all over it!”

***

The last thing Phineas heard was his mother's laugh as he came back to the present, his hand covering his mouth as his smile grew wider, tears forming in his eyes. The photograph looked back at him, his mothers eyes loving, her laugh slowly fading away. Even if she died years ago, that never stopped him from dreaming, and if she were alive, he knew she would be the proudest mother on the face of the Earth.

He set the photo on his desk, wiping his eyes. Phillip walked in soon after, walking over to the desk, “Dearest, are you alright?” Phineas felt a gentle hand on his shoulder,

Phineas sniffled once, leaning back to look up at his lover, setting his hand on his shoulder, mumbling:

“Never better..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking: "Why did Phineas' mom call him by his middle name?"  
> well i heard from a friend of mine that PT's grandfather at the time was also named Phineas so to tell them apart they called PT "Taylor"  
> I could be very wrong but i vaguely remember that


	4. Tracks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> This is a small thing from my Naga AU i came up with (with the help of Lynxx)  
> This contains mpreg (but nothing explicit, it's just fluffy stuff) so if you don't like that you have been warned.

Phillip awoke from his slumber with a groan, he opened his eyes to see it still pitch black outside. He sighed to himself, hearing the unmistakable sound of his stomach growling followed by slight movement underneath his skin. He looked down at his stomach, smiling to himself as he moved his hand up the taut surface, his fingers going past a few small, white stretch marks. Phillip turned his head slightly to see Phineas curled up in a ball beside him, snoring quietly, his ears and tail tip flicking in his sleep.

Phillip sat up, exhaling through his nose. God he hated how even moving has started to become a challenge for him, but he supposes it's a sacrifice for his future eggs. He reached over, pulling on a night shirt as he got up from the pile of blankets and pillows that he now calls a nest, setting them in a way to cover his tracks before leaving the nesting room as quietly as he could.

Phillip immediately went through the pantry, finding a container full of muffins Phineas made for him the other day and a box of tea bags. He looked down at his belly, running a hand along the side, “Does this sound good?”

He felt small heart beats, making him huff a small laugh.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” he pulled the items from the pantry, slithering over to the stove to prepare his (very) early morning snack, “I hope you all like green tea.”

***   


Phineas woke up to the smell of tea, his ears flicking from the quietest sounds coming from the other room. He yawned, stretching out his arms and massive tail, looking beside him to his-

He tilts his head, his brow knitting together when he’s met with an empty bed, the only sign of anything being there is a slight impression on the pillow. He sat up, stretching again as he rubbed his eyes. If Phillip isn’t there, then where could he be?

_ Oh wait. _

Phineas sighed through his nose, getting up from the nest, checking the time on the small clock: 3:00 am. He ran a hand through his hair as he slithered out to the kitchen purposefully.

Of course he wasn’t surprised to see his nesting naga sitting on a barstool, drinking tea, a pile of muffins beside him as he read through a large book, his shiny black tail swaying back and forth, barely touching the ground. Phineas cracked a small smile before making himself known, “You know you could have just asked me to make fresh ones, right?”   


Phillip snapped his head to him with a small jump, setting down his cup, “I didn’t want to wake you, but I suppose my efforts were in vain.”

“You almost had me, but you should work on making less noise and covering your tracks a little better.” he cocked his head back towards the nesting room, “Why are you up so early?”

Phillip shrugged his shoulders, his other hand absentmindedly feeling his large belly, “I don’t know, but they were hungry so I didn’t really have a choice.” Phillip yawned, his black mouth becoming apparent as he carded a hand through his own hair, “It seems they didn’t want to wait until morning before waking me up.”

Phineas moved across the room, sitting beside Phillip, stealing one of the muffins from the pile, “But you love them anyway.” Phineas rested his hand on top of the younger’s, able to feel the small thumps of his young’s heartbeats, “You know the doctor said you’re supposed to be on bedrest.”   


“I can manage myself, Phin, I got up just fine.” Phillip closed the book, leaning on Phineas’ shoulder, “I don’t want to spend the remainder of my term chained to a nest.”

“You’re not obligated to prove your strength by getting up, you need to save it until the day comes, which could be any day by this point.”

Phillip simply huffed, “I know, but I don’t want to seem like a bother to you.”

“Nonsense, it would be my pleasure to make sure you and the babies are comfortable.” Phineas says with a small smile, “I couldn't be happier.”

Phillip chuckled, blushing a little as he sipped from his cup, his tail coiling around Phineas’, almost as if he could bring them together as one. After a moment of comfortable silence, Phillip finally spoke, “I don’t want to wait anymore..”

“I know, darling, neither do I.” Phineas pressed a small kiss on his temple, “Are you nervous?”, he rubbed Phillip’s aching back, looking down at the younger with a slightly worried look,

“A little..Okay, a lot..It just all seems so surreal,” he let out a shaky breath, “All my life I was told this would never be a possibility for me..but now that it’s actually happening, it’s almost hard to believe, I never would have guessed after so many years of believing my parents-” he said quickly before being cut off,

“Hey, hey, slow down, take deep breaths.” Phineas interjects gently.

Phillip stops, taking in a deep breath, holding it for a moment, then expelling it, his hand moving to hold the underside of his taut stomach. Phineas’ hand follows his, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Sometimes I think I’m in a dream.” Phillip mumbled after a while, “And I’m afraid that any time I close my eyes, I’ll wake up back in my apartment, alone..” he looked down at his belly, “...empty...”

Phineas squeezed his hand, looking into his eyes with a comforting stare “This is real, Phillip, all of this.” he gestured to the whole room, “You deserve this happiness after what you’ve been through and..” he trailed off, looking down at Phillip’s stomach, “..I’m so happy I get to be the man who gives it to you.” he kissed him again, “And I know you’ll be an amazing father once they hatch and I can assure you that isn’t Barnum humbug.”

Phillip smiled slightly with a laugh, leaning onto Phineas’ shoulder. He yawned once more, feeling the movement slow down within him, “I think it’s time we go back to bed.” he said quietly after a brief pause.

Phineas kissed him once more, cupping his face, “That sounds like a good idea, wouldn’t want to be half asleep during the nesting shower.”

“I suppose you’re right about that.” Phillip raised both of his arms above his head, stretching his back and tail out, his nightshirt rising up a little bit over his stomach. Phineas took his hand, helping him off the stool, leading him out of the kitchen.

“Oh wait!” Phillip let go of Phineas’ hand, quickly grabbing another muffin and stuffing it in his mouth, grabbing his hand again.

Phineas laughed out loud, kissing his forehead and cheek, “I’ll make more tomorrow morning.”   
  
Phillip swallowed his mouthful before adding, “With peanuts, right?” he wiped his mouth,

“Of course, God you sound like me when we first met.” Phineas quipped, patting Phillip’s back,   


Phillip rolled his eyes, “Well at least I don’t chew with my mouth open unlike _ you _ .”   


Phineas gasped, pretending to be offended, holding his chest as if he were a lady who was just told her dress color doesn’t match her eyes.

Phillip leaned upwards, kissing him softly on the cheek with a giggle, “Don’t fret, I still love you even if your table manners are..less than acceptable.” Phillip smirked as Phineas pouted at him, nudging his side. 

Phineas squinted his eyes at him, “Be lucky you’re cute.” he went ahead of Phillip to open the door to the nesting room, smiling down at him fondly.   


Phillip mirrored the smile as he slithered back onto the bed with a deep sigh, his aching back quickly forgiving him as he settled into the plush nest. He grabbed one of the blankets, pulling it up so his head was resting on top of it.

Phineas laid down next to him, wrapping his arms around his middle, hands resting on his stomach. He hummed in Phillip’s ear as he wrapped his massive tail around the two of them, Phillip copying him as he nuzzled back into Phineas’ chest. The two of them eventually fall into a deep slumber, their breaths matching one another as they drift off with their tails intertwined. Phineas felt a swell of warmth within him as he felt the small heartbeats under Phillip’s stomach, making a content sound as he closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose into Phillip’s messy hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will definitely be more of this AU from me in the future, so let me know what you think and I may post some drawings on tumblr later on -*eyes emoji*-


	5. Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> Naga AU, has mentions of mpreg/ovi  
> This was based off of something from my discord server so enjoy \o/

Phillip rested his head on his partner’s shoulder, the weight of the day beginning to crush him as they travelled back to their home, wanting nothing more than to hide himself and put an end to this horrible day. He should have known it was a mistake to try and talk to his parents, let alone tell them they are now grandparents of a clutch of three hybrids; nothing good could have come out of that. In hindsight, Phillip should have just let himself be forgotten by them, it would have spared him the crushing embarrassment and the tears. Part of him thinks they may have already forgotten about him..

Phillip stared off out the window, the tears on his face long since dried up, only listening to Phineas’ deep breaths, their hands intertwined together. Phillip had a hand on his midsection, his thumb rubbing soothing circles around his stomach. Neither man has spoken since they left the Carlyle estate, not even a small utterance of conversation, the only indication that the elder is even coherent is the slight pressure being applied on Phillip’s tail, the patterns adorning his scales stretching and compressing. Phillip wrapped his smaller tail around Phineas’.

He felt another pang in his chest as he noticed the difference in size between them, one that ached him to the very core. For once in his whole life he felt comfortable in his own skin, not ever wanting to be any bigger than he is, being content with his small clutch, being content with Phineas. But not even a hour of being with his parents and all that progress he made to feel better came crashing down all at once. Phillip felt yet another flood of tears forming behind his eyes, but he wouldn’t dare let them fall again, not when Phineas is surely embarrassed to have Phillip as a nesting mate and partner.

Phineas brought his hand up to Phillip’s hair, carding his hand through it as he guided Phillip’s face to the crook of his neck, kissing his forehead and temple, his nose burying into the youngers kept hair. Finally, Phineas spoke, breaking the weighted silence:

“Are you okay?”

The question itself took Phillip by surprise, if it weren’t for the situation, Phillip would have retorted with something like “Perfect. Never better.”. But instead, his own voice betraying him, he rasped out a short, emotional, “ _ N-no… _ ”

He expected another beat of silence, but suddenly both of Phineas’ arms wrapped around him, “Neither am I..” he mumbled, beginning to rub Phillip’s arm.

Phillip sharply exhaled, curling up tighter as he felt the tears well up, “I-I’m sorry, Phin, I never should have brought you here, you shouldn’t have to see me like this, I’m such an idiot-”

“Don’t-” Phineas interrupted, pausing to compose himself, “Don’t apologize for this, this wasn’t your fault, do you understand me?”

Phillip doesn’t bother keeping back his tears, letting them fall once again down his cheeks, stinging his already raw eyes, his claws digging into his lover’s arm, “Yes it was! If I didn’t suggest this, we wouldn’t be here! If I would have just kept down my need to feel loved by my parents, I wouldn’t be crying right now-” Phillip stops, realizing what he just said, already feeling the urge to curl up into a ball, “I-It’s so s-stupid..”

Phineas cupped Phillip’s face, forcing his eyes on him, Phillip can see that Phineas is slowly starting to lose his composure despite his efforts to keep it together, “It’s not stupid, Phillip, you deserve their love after everything you’ve done so far, after nearly laying down your life for your clutch, you deserve nothing but love and happiness.” Phineas looked down for a second, “But after what I saw, after seeing you break down in the garden..It’s clear to me that they don’t have any love in their hearts for anybody, not even their own flesh and blood.” a single tear rolls down his cheek, “I know what it’s like to feel so deprived, so desperate for everyone to love you and...I learned the hard way that not everyone has love, but that doesn’t mean the love of the few people in your life means nothing.”

“I know but,” Phillip lets out a sob, “T-there’s always something wrong with me in their eyes, t-they never loved me. But ever since I learned that, all I e-ever wanted was to be loved by my own family and I thought for a moment that fulfilling what they expected of me would have led to reconciliation, that they would actually-”

“Phillip.” Phineas interrupted yet again, “They don’t deserve your love, they don’t deserve your time, they don’t deserve  _ you _ .” Phillip stared at him, his lips parted, “If they had even a sliver of love in thrm, they wouldn’t hold you to a standard that you cannot reach, any parent would love you regardless of your flaws. Even if you never could produce a clutch, that shouldn’t change how much they love you, because that certainly doesn’t change mine.”

“Phin…”   


“Their ‘approval’ means nothing to me, and it should mean less than nothing to you, because all I saw was a poor little boy deprived of the one thing that no child should ever be deprived of, and whoever willingly chooses to do that, their opinions of you mean nothing more than the dirt between our claws.” Phineas brings their foreheads together, crying freely, “They may not love you, but I, regardless of how you may look, how you may act, whatever flaws you may have, will always love you.” he nudges their noses together, letting out a small breath,

Phillip sobbed loudly, “I-” his breath catched, his voice cracking, “I love you too…”

Phineas softly kissed him, tasting salt on his lips, pulling Phillip as close as he possibly could, never breaking the kiss. Phillip was the first to pull back for air, his claws digging into Phineas’ cravat.

“I’ll love you, always and forever, Phillip Carlyle. I’ll love our three beautiful children, always and forever. And I know you will have nothing but love for them, always and forever.”

Phillip could only nod, bringing his face to Phineas’ shoulder, seeking his embrace which he was happily given, their tails intertwining together into a perfect knot. A few hours later, they’re dropped off in front of their home, their pinkies together as they slither towards the nesting room, prepared to just sleep the evening away with their clutch, sleeping as a family. Phineas kept his arms around Phillip, pressing his chest against Phillip’s back.

Phillip now realized that it was ridiculous for him to want to be with the family he was born into, because the one holding him close, the one settled between him and his lover, the one he shares at the circus, was all the family he ever really needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be fluffy but then i angsted all over the place xD
> 
> I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the chapters because I have a lot of work to do for uni but who knows -*shrugs*-


	6. "Are You Sure?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> Just a good ol' sickfic drabble

“Yes! I saw it with my own two eyes!” Phineas shouted, holding up his cane, ready to hit whatever has spooked him, his eyes slightly unfocused,

Phillip rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, “Phin, please don’t tell me you actually believe in ghosts, those were just stories created to scare children-”

“I  _ saw _ one and I knew it floated in here!” Phineas looked around the room, backing up into the wall of his dressing room, "It was completely white and it looked like a woman!"

Phillip exhaled slowly, walking up to him, “It was probably a trick of the light-” he stopped, realizing that Phineas’ face looks incredibly red and sweaty, “Phineas are you okay? You look fevered.”

Phineas’ eyes were dazed, glaring off into nothing, only to snap his head back to Phillip, “What?”

“Come here, and put your cane down.” Phillip walked over to the couch in the dressing room, leaving room for Phineas,

The ringmaster hesitated before setting his cane on the table (which took him a few tries before he set it down), striding over to Phillip on wobbly legs. As soon as he sat down, Phillip’s hand-- which felt amazing against his hot skin --felt around his forehead and cheek.

Phillip’s eyes widened, “Phin oh my god, you’re burning up.”

“‘m fine, it’s just allergies-” Phineas coughed a few times, covering his mouth in his elbow, “I’m not sick-”

“Phineas Barnum, you are not going out of this room in this condition, you need bedrest.” Phillip stood up, going to the cabinet and retrieving a small first aid kit and a spare rag, “What have you done to yourself?”

Phineas huffed, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around himself, “I dunno..it may have something to do with me being locked out of my house when it was snowing two days ago-”

“Phin!” Phillip’s eyes widened as he wet the rag with cool water, “How long were you out there??”

Phineas took a moment, coughing as he said, “A few hours, maybe more than a few.” he laid down on the couch, curling up under his blanket, “But I’m fine, Flip, don’t worry about me.”

Phillip sat in front of the couch, setting the wet rag on his forehead, “If there’s anything I’m certain of is that you are most definitely  _ not _ okay, you realize how easy it is for you to get sick if you leave this to fester.”

Phineas coughed once again, moaning in his throat at the cold sensation on his fevered skin, “There was so much to do and I couldn’t leave it unfinished-” another coughing fit, “-I didn’t want to burden you with my work.”

Phillip sighed, running a hand through his hair, “It’s been too much, hasn’t it? The work.”

Phineas curled up tighter, “I can handle it.”   
  
“Phin you look exhausted, like you haven’t slept in days.” Phillip set a pillow under Phineas’ head, “Look, you rest here for the rest of the day and when the day’s over, you’re coming with me to my apartment so you can properly sleep this off. How does that sound?”

Phineas nods, “But I still saw a ghost though..”

“That was a hallucination, Phineas.” Phillip said with a laugh, “Besides, if this place were actually haunted, we would have heard accounts before.”

Phineas sneezed into his blanket, “Yeah but still.”

“You’re very exhausted, you probably haven’t had water for a few days, just lay here and try to sleep a little.” Phillip leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on his ailed partner’s forehead,

“..Can you stay with me?” Phineas said, yawning,

“Of course, dearest.” Phillip moved so Phineas’ head was resting on his lap, “Rest now, okay?”

He didn’t need to tell Phineas twice, the elder was out like a light, his breaths coming out slightly ragged but even. Phillip smiled down at him, running his hand through his wavy hair.


	7. Crossover/AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> Prompt: Alternate meeting au where phil trespasses onto the original building before it opened. This was discussed by me and Aulyk a few months ago and i decided to write a drabble for it now  
> Hope you all enjoy \o/

Phillip had been wandering town square for what felt like hours for no other purpose than to waste time and avoid going to his parents house for as long as possible. Beforehand, he’d been sitting in a quaint little cafe, sitting there before people started to give him strange looks.

He passed by the railroad station at least twice before coming across the old building again. Phillip remembers passing by it as a child when his parents were in town square, seeing the stylish, yet decrepit building stand tall enough to block out the light of the sun. He looked up at it for a moment, just admiring the architecture, before he heard something from inside.

A voice? A conversation?

Phillip stepped up closer to one of the windows, there he heard it as clear as day: 

A  _ song. _

Part of him thought he should just walk away and waste a few hours in his apartment over a book and an Irish bourbon he bought a few days ago. But that part of him fell silent as his body moved on its own, climbing through the open window. As he walked down the halls, he heard the song louder, echoing off the walls like a hymn in a church. The atmosphere wasn’t threatening, but it did manage to leave shivers down his spine when he inched closer to a large lobby area.

There, in the very center of it, stood a  _ man _ . The man was looking up at the wide ceiling, singing to himself as he rolled up his sleeves. Phillip crouched behind a box, just watching, listening to the man as he sung an unknown tune, luckily it was loud enough for him to know what he was singing, each word echoing in a hypnotic way:

_ “Come Alive, come alive _

_ Go and ride your light, let it burn so bright _

_ Reaching up to the sky, and it’s open wide _

_ You’re electrified.” _

He couldn’t exactly place where the song came from, maybe it was from an obscure play he was unsure of? Maybe it was a strange bar song? After a second, he figures this man came up with it on his own, which of course is baffling considering how beautiful the song is. The man started dancing in place, spinning around with a wide grin on his face, his arms outstretched with his chest pushing out and up to project his voice.

“ _ So Come Alive! _ ” he held out long and proud.

Phillip hadn’t realized he’s started to walk forward, tripping on a stray rope, falling down to the floor, bringing a few items down with him, making a loud bang echo from his hiding spot.

The man immediately stopped singing, his head darting to the source of the sound as his arms dropped. Phillip hardly believed the voice of the man when he knelt down to his level with a slightly worried, “Oh my god! Are you okay?”

Phillip looked up at him, immediately losing all the possible words he could have said. Instead he managed out a small, “Yeah, I’m fine.” a slight blush crawls up his neck when the man grabs his hand, helping Phillip up to his feet.

“Why are you in here?”

Phillip stared at him, now seeing him so much better in the light, a definite gleam in his eye, “I- I was just…wandering and-”

“It’s quite alright but,” the older man chuckles, crossing his arms, “You know this counts as trespassing, right?” he raised a brow at him with a smirk,

“Pardon? This building is abandoned last I checked.”

“Well, I bought this place a few days ago, so you’re technically trespassing on my property.” the man reaches his hand out, wiping some dirt off of Phillip’s sleeve,

Suddenly Phillip’s brain started to kick start again, making him jump, “O-Oh! I-I’m so sorry- I’m not looking for trouble- I’ll leave if you-”

The man held his hands up, “No no, it’s alright.” he paused, looking Phillip up and down before asking, “Did you..need anything?”

Phillip feels the blush on his neck climb to his cheeks, “Not really I just..wanted to know who was singing.”

The elders chuckled, taking a glance around the building before looking back at Phillip, “Are you busy by any chance?”

“No? Why?”

“Great! I need a hand with something and while I can do it myself, it would be a lot easier with another pair of hands.”

Phillip blushed, surely the man didn’t mean for it to sound  _ that _ way.

“U-uh, with what exactly?” he paused, “Wait, who are you for starters??”

“Well, for starters,” the elder man mocked, “Since I just purchased this building, it’s in a massive need for cleaning up and getting set in order for when I open this place and,” he sticks his hand out, “PT Barnum, at your service.”

_ What a fitting name for a man like him _ Phillip thought as he extended his hand out, “Phillip. Phillip Carlyle-”  _ shit he just used his full name! _

Barnum raised a brow as he shook his name, “‘Carlyle’? What’s a high brow like you doing in town square, let alone in a run down building?” he said in a curious voice,

Phillip retracted his hand, straightening his coat, “I’ll have you know I was heading to the library before I got sidetracked.”

“Oh? Never really cared for books, but I can assure you this will be much more entertaining than ink and parchment.” Barnum spins on his heel, walking back towards the center of the foyer, “You coming?”

Phillip shook his head, hurrying off after Barnum, “And where exactly are we heading, Mr. Barnum-”

“Please, call me PT.” he looked over his shoulder, leading them off to a back room full of crates,

“PT.” Phillip started, “I’ll keep that in mind.” he added as he removed his coat, rolling up his sleeves as he cleared his throat, “So what are we doing exactly?”

“Well, we need to move these out of here, then we need to patch up the hole in the ceiling before the storm comes in and-” PT continued to list off all the items on his internal to do list, leading Phillip around the building.

Phillip couldn’t help but stare at the man before him, especially his hazel eyes which appeared to be many colors in the correct lighting. Phillip got lost listening to him ramble, changing the subject every few sentences, pulling Phillip into a conversation over the most random topics. Not like Phillip minded, this beat any of the usual conversations he would have at the party (which he decided to shove down in favor of this strange, eccentric man).

“-and that should be about everything for the time being. Did you get all of that?”

Phillip gave him a dazed look as he snapped out of his own mind, “Uh..”

“Perfect, let’s get started.” PT grabbed his arm, leading him towards a staircase up to the second floor.

***

A few hours later, both men are tired, sweaty, exhausted, but overall very satisfied with their work. Phillip hasn’t had the chance to work out, let alone get his hands dirty, for some time, and while others in his class would have wanted to leave at the first opportunity, he didn’t mind it. PT certainly helped with that.

After the sun has gone down, the two of them decided to call it a day. Phillip had long since forgotten about the party in favor of having a lively conversation with PT. Out of nowhere, PT grabbed their coats, hurrying up to his side before Phillip had the chance to leave.

“Wait, hold up!”

Phillip turned around, raising a brow at him.

PT passed him his coat, “I was thinking that since we just spent all this time working that we should celebrate.”

“Oh? Is it the dinner I was promised?” Phillip quipped, putting on his coat,

“Not exactly. Can I buy you a drink at least?” PT put on his top hat and scarf, “It’ll be my treat.”

Phillip grinned at him, putting on his own red scarf and hat, “Sure, lead the way.”

“I’m sure you’re curious about the building you’ve trespassed on, after all. Tell me, Phillip, have you ever heard of show business?”

“Show business? I don’t believe I’ve heard of that.”

“Well, that’s because I just invented it.”


	8. Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T for brief implication of sex at the beginning and a little at the end

Phillip woke up and immediately jumped from their bed, hurrying to the window in their bedroom.

Phineas grumbled low, taking the remainder of the blanket and curling underneath it. This is the one day he felt the need to sleep the day away, the day after a successful show-- which of course led to hungry kisses, pawing at clothing, and eventually a sore back in the morning for Phineas.

Seconds later his partner literally jumped on top of him with an excited, “Phin! Wake up!”

Phineas whined loudly at the weight on his aching body, reaching a hand up to push Phillip’s face away, “No. Sleep.”

Phillip  _ giggled _ , grabbing Phineas’ hand, “Come on, dear, you have to see this!” he pulled on his arm, eventually getting Phineas to sit up and get off the bed.

Phineas mourned the loss of the warmth of the bed, rubbing his eye as he allowed Phillip to drag him to the window, “Phil, you know I love you, but this better be good enough to wake me up-” he yawned, running a hand through his wavy hair, admittedly he’s never seen Phillip so happy over something that wasn’t a trip to the bookstore or a random instance where BT would do a trick for a treat.

Phillip stopped in front of the window, practically jumping as he pulled back the curtains, “Have a look outside.”

Phineas stopped as he looked out the window. Now he understands why Phillip got so excited. The entire pasture surrounding the mansion was covered in a layer of thick snow, icicles coming off of the trees and hanging low enough to make a curtain of ice. Their whole world was covered in white as far as the eye can see.

“Wow..” was all Phineas could say at the sight of the winter wonderland just outside the windowsill.

Phillip was smiling bright at him, tugging at his arm. Phineas knew what he was asking for.

“Give me a moment to wake up and get dressed.”

Phillip jumped up and down in place, getting up on his toes, kissing Phineas on the cheek, “I’ll make coffee.”

Phineas smiled as he watched Phillip hurry out of the room. Suddenly all the soreness left his body at the sight of his partner so overjoyed. 

***

No less than an hour later, with not even one full cup of coffee in, Phillip was dragging Phineas outside with a bright grin on his face. Phineas likened it to his girls whenever they wanted to play outside, which only made his heart swell more. Phillip’s gloved hand was tightly gripping Phineas’ as they stepped onto the porch, only to find that snow-covered as well.

Phillip’s eyes lit up and, which took Phineas by surprise, let go of his hand and ran towards the snow, jumping straight into it, sinking down slightly. Phineas stood there for a moment just in shock, normally Phillip would never act so...improper since he’s the one normally chiding Phineas for not having table manners (though in the end he normally doesn’t mind it) and Phillip, sitting up in the snow, throwing it above his head, looked so young this way.

It wasn’t long before Phineas smirked, jumping on top of Phillip with a triumphant shout, Phillip laughing helplessly. They rolled in place for a moment, their faces mere inches apart. They inched closer, their breaths warm and their eyes half lidded, Phineas’ heart racing in his chest.

Then Phillip smashed a snowball right on his neck. Phineas shivered and recoiled with a wordless sound as the snow went down his back and towards his pantline. Phillip giggled again, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

That’s when Phineas stuffed snow down his pants.

Phillip whined, curling up slightly as he brought his hands down to his crotch with a whispered, “ _ Fuck. _ ”

Phineas huffed, kissing Phillip on the forehead, “That’s what you get for waking me up.”

Phillip narrowed his eyes at him, reaching with both hands towards the snow, making a medium snowball and throwing it right at his face. Phineas sputtered for a moment, then taking on a competitive grin as he made a snowball of his own and throwing it at Phillip’s face in return.

Soon, both men were chasing each other around the front lawn, throwing snowballs at one another, helplessly giggling and smiling the entire time.

***

After a long few hours of playing in the snow, Phineas decided it would be wise if the two of them head inside before they caught their death. Phillip, shivering in place, agreed and followed Phineas back inside.

Now they sit in front of a great fire, each of them with a cup of coffee, snuggled under a big, warm blanket. Phillip was still shivering slightly, but had a smile on nonetheless. Phineas pulled him in closer, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Phin.” Phillip said suddenly,

“Hm?” Phineas tilted his head towards him,

“I..” Phillip sighed, setting down his cup on the floor, “Thank you, I know it was a little rude waking you up but-” he stopped, “I haven’t been able to enjoy snow my whole life and-”

“There’s no need to apologize, quite frankly I enjoyed this, especially seeing you so happy.” he kissed him softly, setting down his own cup, “If it ever snows again, don’t hesitate to wake me up, I would love for you to enjoy it as much as you can.”

Phillip laughed softly, kissing Phineas, this time a little longer, a little more heated, “Well, I’m still a little cold.” he said teasingly, trailing kisses down his jaw to his neck.

Phineas huffed a laugh, his hands trailing down to Phillip’s hips, “I can help with that, my dear apprentice-”

“ _ Partner. _ ” Phillip corrected sternly, looking up at him.

Phineas guided him to the ground, laying on top of him, kissing him once again, only breaking it off to mutter, “What a sharp tongue you have, but I’m sure I can find a better use for that after the demonstration you gave me last night.”

Phillip smirked up at him, leaning up to kiss him, his hands going into his hair, “I do love putting on a good show.”   
  



	9. "Take Me Home"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> Warnings: references to abuse/violence  
> This one is a lot shorter than my other ones but Im pretty happy with it (I just wanted an excuse to write comfort xD)

The words came out more like a whisper than a demand, the younger’s voice almost gone and broken as he tugged on his shirt sleeve. Phineas can tell the small meeting with his parents did not go well at all, and the dark bruise along his jaw was proof enough.

“ _ Please.. _ ”

Phineas was practically shaking with fury, wanting to march back to the bastard that did this and leave more than just a mark by the time he was done with him! But at the sight of his partner, his friend, his lover so distraught, barely able to keep himself together in the crowd of people now beginning to stare at the two of them, there was no way Phineas could have ignored his pleas to leave.

Phineas, daringly, intertwined their pinkies together, whispering a small, “Okay, darling.” as he led the two of them out as quick as they could. 

When they stepped outside, their hands came together, holding each other tight.

When they stepped into their carriage, their arms wrapped around one another.

When the door closed with a dull thump, Phillip lost all composure, breaking down on Phineas’ lap, crying his eyes out as he shook in place, covering his face as much as he could.

Phineas felt a single tear roll down his cheek as he ran a hand through his Phillip’s hair. He wished he could just take away his pain, he wished he can comfort Phillip more and give him all the love in his heart, but all he can do is watch and be there as much as he could.

Once they arrived at their home, Phineas made him some tea-- granted he’s not the best at it, but Phillip has told him he appreciates the effort --gave him a blanket, and started talking about anything to try and calm Phillip down. He felt proud when he managed to make Phillip laugh, even if it was a quiet one.

Before they knew it, they were falling asleep in each others arms on the plush couch, Phillip’s face on Phineas’ chest, safe and sound.


	10. Facing Your Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T (mentions of past abuse, homelessness, near death experiences)  
> Prompt: Phillip hadn't realized PT had a fear of spiders.

Phillip never heard such a terrifying noise in his life: a loud scream followed by the sounds of crashing coming from the shared office lofting above the ring. Phillip, looking back towards Anne who had also looked towards the office, quickly excused himself to go up and investigate the sound.

His heart pounded in his chest as he hurried up the steps, keeping his eyes locked onto the office. He stopped in front of the door, pressing an ear to it before entering the room quietly. Phillip knew there could only possibly be one person in the room so he called out a gentle “Phin?” as he shut the door behind him.

“Phineas-?” he asked again, looking around the room, oddly finding nothing.

_ Maybe the sound came from somewhere else _ he thought to himself as he examined the room once again. Just before he could leave, he heard a small sound from Phineas’, supposedly, empty desk followed by a thump.

Phillip walked towards the sound, moving quietly towards the desk then circling around it. What he saw next left a tear in his heart: his partner was curled up under his desk, out of breath as his foggy eyes focused on the ground in front of him, pressing into the wood as much as he could to make himself seem as small as possible.

In front of the man sat a small tarantula, not even a few inches away from him, standing completely still. Phineas shook when the spider moved minutely to its left, whimpering again.

Phillip, being a little more daring around creatures such as this, kneeled down and picked the spider up. Immediately Phineas recoiled more, letting out a scream as he hid his face.

Phillip’s heart broke in his chest, the ache straining against his ribs. He temporarily set the spider into his red hat, moving in front of Phin, “Phineas, Phineas!” he grabbed his shoulders gently, only for Phineas to scream again, holding his head. Phillip retracted his hands, looking towards his hat, then back to his panicking lover, “I’ll be right back, okay? Just stay here.”

Phineas didn’t respond, in fact he hardly acknowledged that Phillip left in the first place, keeping his hands in his hair, pulling on it to the point of pain, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Phillip picked up his hat, going towards the window in their office, tilting it slightly to coerce the spider out into the fresh spring air. He shut the window immediately, hurrying back over to Phineas.

Phineas cried out loud, rocking in place as he was helped out of his small hiding spot to the much more comfortable couch. Even there he hardly moved, almost like he wasn’t aware of even being moved in the first place, like he didn’t know his lover was holding him so tenderly and whispering reassurances in his ear.

Phillip’s heart sank into the floorboards when he heard a quiet and broken, “ _ Please don’t hurt me… _ ”

Phillip felt tears of his own well up, holding Phineas tighter, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Phin, it’s going to be okay, just breathe..”

After what felt like an eternity later, Phineas finally managed to calm down enough to come back to reality, his arms weakly wrapping around Phillip as he sobbed uncontrollably onto his shoulder. Phillip pulled him even closer, practically seating Phineas onto his lap as he rubbed soothing circles on his back, whispering in his ear as he rocked them ever so slightly, which Phineas seemed to find comforting in a way.

Then he finally spoke, “Ph-Phil..”

“Shh, it’s okay, Phin, just breathe, love.” Phillip said gently, “The spider’s gone, you’re safe now.”

Phineas’ fingers digged into his shirt, recoiling at the word, but sighing when he realized he was indeed safe in his arms.

It was quiet between them after that, Phillip only whispering when he felt the older man tensing and shaking again. It was comfortable, and Phillip thought that was just fine. Phineas, when he’s regained some of his composure, looked up at Phillip with wet eyes:

“I-I’m sorry, I w-worried you, you s-shouldn’t see me like this-”

“Phin, don’t apologize, it’s okay, you just got scared.”

“B-but I shouldn’t be s-scared! I-I’m a grown man! I shouldn’t be scared of s-spiders but-” Phineas cut himself off, burying his face back into Phillip’s shoulder, “I-It’s a stupid fear, one that I shouldn’t let get the best of me.” Phillip decided to just sit there and listen to him, “I just..I used to wake up with two, maybe three spiders on me because I lived in the streets, I-I’ve gotten bitten more times than I can count and I n-nearly-” he stopped, shaking again, “....I-I nearly died too many times…”

Phillip leaned back, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, then his forehead, “You’re safe now, Phin, it’s okay, you’re not going to end up back there. Not on my watch.” he rubbed the area between Phineas’ shoulder blades, feeling the tension built up there from the sudden resurgence of fear and stress.

“I-I was so close to dying t-that at one point I just...I couldn’t stand being alone anymore so I stayed in the c-cemetary, just waiting...at least my parents would be there once I left…”

Phillip’s heart strained, a tear falling down his cheek.

“B-but then a woman found me laying on top of my mother’s grave and s-she took me to her home..gave me shelter and medicine until I felt better. Of course I couldn’t stay for long but...for the time being I was able to rest without worrying about being bitten, kicked, bruised-” Phineas let out a shaky breath, “Ever since then..I’ve been terrified of spiders, I can’t even look at one without shaking let alone finding one in my hat.”

Phillip pressed another kiss to his head, trailing down to his trembling lips, “It’s okay to be scared, Phin, there’s nothing shameful about that. You told me that at some point and..well the same goes for you.” he kisses him again, “Would you like me to make you some tea?”

Phineas nodded, a small smile on his lips as he wiped the tears from his cheeks despite more flooding over his eyes. Phillip ran a hand through his hair, kissing his cheeks, tasting salt on his lips. He reached behind Phineas, grabbing a blanket and draping it over his shoulders, “Stay here for a second, okay?”

Phineas pulled the blanket around him, curlin up under it with another small nod and a quiet, “Okay..”

Phillip got up with one last kiss, going towards the door to the small kitchenette just down the hall.

“Phillip?” Phineas says, which stops Phillip as he turns back around,

“Yes, dearest?”

“I…” he stops, “Thank you...so much.”

“It’s no problem, love.” Phillip turned back around.

“I love you.” Phineas added shyly, laying down on the couch.

“Love you too, Phin.”


	11. "Left or Right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T (whump, mentions of sex, injury)  
> Prompt: PT takes protecting his family a little too far and Phillip has to deal with the aftermath.  
> It's about time i write some whump here, it would be weird of me not to since I am a huge fan of it xD

Phillip probed gently along Phineas’ ribs, pressing down softly whenever he heard Phineas’ breath catch or his abdomen tense up. When he had no luck searching for the cause of his pain, he asked evenly: “Left or right?”

Phineas’ back tensed and arched up with a pained groan, his hands out behind him, propping his upper body up and off the bed. He let out a shaky breath, “I- I don’t know, left maybe- no right!” he shouted the last part as Phillip pressed down particularly hard on his lower right side. Phineas’ eyes remained locked shut, his breaths coming out quicker, but he still managed to keep himself together.

Phillip, for the purpose of assuring what Phineas just told him, pressed and circled three fingers around that area, eventually finding what felt like a fracture. Phineas let out a guttural groan, his legs tensing up with his shoulders and back, which only made the pain worse.

“T-there!” he said in confirmation, his voice going up three octaves,

Phillip released the pressure he applied to the wounded area, repeating a questioning, “There?”

Phineas huffed out a relieved breath, letting himself relax slightly as he lowered himself onto the mattress, sweat beading his brow. He nodded as he rolled on his left, putting pressure off of his right.

Phillip sighed through his nose, “Phin I’ve told you many times to stop picking fights with the protestors, I don’t want to keep having to patch you up..not to mention god knows what will happen to you if you don’t get out soon enough.” he got up and searched through his drawer, pulling out a spare med kit and bandages,

“I was handling it just fine, and I didn’t  _ pick _ the fight, they started it. I just didn’t see one of the younger gentleman pick up a lead pipe in time to avoid it. Thankfully I collapsed once the police arrived with Miss Yan so the men were immediately apprehended.” Phineas grabbed a pillow and propped up his head, pressing an ice bag to his eye, “I dismissed their worries for my health by telling them I just got bruised, oddly enough they believed it enough to let me walk back home.”

“And you didn’t bother going to the hospital?” Phillip said with exasperation, 

“You know I hate doctors, Phil, besides I was fine until I fell on my way up the stairs-” Phineas turned slightly, regretting it immediately with a sharp hiss, “F-fuck, that man had a good arm..”

Phillip rolled his eyes, sitting down beside Phineas, “I don’t care if you hate the doctors, you could have potentially hurt yourself further than you are now, you’re lucky I heard you fall on the stairs.” he pulled out bandages, helping Phineas to a sitting postion as he unbuttoned his shirt, wincing at the gross purple and black bruise crossing Phineas’ ribs, namely his right side.

He looked up at Phineas, who was also looking away, as he felt the heel of his hand along the fractured rib, “Remind me, Phineas, what’s your favorite color?”

Phineas raised a brow at the out of place question, “You already know the answer to that, it’s red-!”

He was cut off by a loud shout of his own as Phillip hit the misplaced bone hard enough to reset it back into its proper place, a sickening crack sounding from inside his ribcage. Phineas dragged in gulps of air, his knuckles turning white.

“W-what the fuck-?!”

“The bone was slightly out of place, luckily it wasn’t too far so it was easy enough to reset it.” Phillip said evenly, ignoring the pain in his chest from seeing his partner in pain, “Luckily that was the only one.”

Phineas gulped in another breath, his head rolling back, “Yeah, lucky me..” he said between breaths, his hands resuming their initial position.

Phillip leaned forward, pressing a small kiss on his cheek and nose, “It’s fine, dearest, just relax while I bind it.” Phillip unwound the bandage roll, starting to wrap it around Phineas’ torso tight enough to keep the bone in place but loose enough to allow Phineas air, “You realize you had me scared to death, right?”

“Yes, I knew once I realized it was two hours past midnight..I knew you were worried for me,” he reached for the bag of ice, pressing it to his eye, “and I’m sorry.”

Phillip didn’t look up, but acknowledged him, “You’re forgiven, but you can’t keep doing this, Phin.” he paused, “You’re not immortal, you know.”

“I’d rather not acknowledge that, but I’m aware of it.”

“I know you’re just trying to protect the troupe, but you don’t have to all the time.” he finally looked up, “And you certainly don’t need to worry about me.”

“I know, I know but..” he sighed, “I guess I still feel..guilty for leaving everyone, I know you and everyone else have already forgiven me but I feel I need to return the favor somehow, even if it’s in my blood.”

Phillip tied the bandages up, assuring it’s secure on him, before removing his shirt entirely, “We’ve been over this before, Phin, your life is more worthwhile to everyone than whatever mistakes you’ve made in the past. It happened already, we’ve all forgiven you, even Charity and the girls, it’s all fine.” Phillip helped him down on the bed before laying beside him, shrugging off his own shirt, “I would rather have you safe and sound here than trying to repay a debt you don’t own at the hands of protestors.”

Phineas turned to face Phillip, but his eyes could not meet his, “It seems ridiculous, but it’s hard for me to just..let that go.”

Phillip cupped his face, kissing him on the lips softly, “Why not we discuss this in the morning? I’d rather not have you strain yourself until I manage to get you some pain medication.” he paused, “We ran out when I twisted my ankle a few months back.”

Phineas huffed a laugh, gripping his right side, “I suppose we should-”

“Not ‘we’, I’m going to the pharmacist tomorrow morning while you stay  _ here _ and  _ rest _ , and by here I mean in  _ bed _ .”

Phineas sighed, “But-”

“No buts, Phineas, you need to take it easy for a few weeks before I’ll even let you consider going back to work, understand?”

“Phil-”

“Understand me?” he interrupted sternly,

Phineas pouted, rolling his head on his pillow, “Fine.  _ Fine _ .”

“Alright, now that that’s settled, if I see you getting out of bed or pushing yourself beyond your limit, no sex for a month.”

Phineas’ eyes widened, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh but I would.” he kissed him on the cheek, reaching over to douse the lamp on Phineas’ side, “Time to get some much needed rest. Good night, dearest.” he nuzzled his nose into Phineas’ wavy hair, breathing in his scent as he closed his eyes.

“But I-” Phineas groaned, but relaxed once he felt Phillip’s arms wrap around him, their legs tangling together, “Good night, darling.”

They kissed one last time before drifting off to sleep, Phineas settling against Phillip’s chest with a content sigh.


	12. Signs of Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is a continuation of the previous drabble)  
> Rating: G (minor description of injuries but not a lot)

Phillip woke up to the sound of Phineas groaning into his pillow, his hands shaking as they gripped the pillow. Phillip sat up quickly, only to see Phineas laying on his right side, the pain seemingly catching up to him from the assault.

Phillip shook his shoulder gently, rolling Phineas flat on his back. The elder grabbed onto Phillip’s arm, barely able to move past that. Phillip ran a hand through his hair, feeling sweat forming on his brow, making his hair damp. He can tell he’s trying his best to try and look okay, but he can see how much he’s struggling to.

Phillip whispered that he’s going to leave to get the pain medication as soon as he can, getting up from the bed and getting dressed in record time-- although he still spent about thirty minutes on his hair --leaving the apartment quickly.

***

About an hour later and some convincing, Phillip finally got the medication although it took extra effort to get Phineas to take it since according to him he hates the taste. Not even a few minutes later, Phineas was drifting off back into a deep sleep, seemingly more at ease with the help of the drug. Phillip took this time to replace the bandages, patch up his bruises, and inspect him for additional injuries; luckily he only found a minor cut along his hip, which was more of a relief to him considering how Phineas was outnumbered 4-to-1. 

Phillip laid down beside him, resting his cheek on his chest, his hands carefully wrapping around him to avoid his ribcage. Phineas sighed in his sleep, leaning more on him, his own hands wrapping around Phillip. 

Phillip decided now would be a good time to catch up on the sleep he missed the previous night.

However, rather abruptly, he was once again awoken by Phineas, but by something much more pleasant. He was laughing to himself, his nose buried in Phillip’s, now mussed, hair, feeling his arms and chest up and down.

Phillip found this quite endearing, a smile on his face, “What’s so funny, Phin?”

“Your shampoo smells really good.” he giggled again, “Like a lady’s product.”

Phillip’s smile doesn’t fall as he leans his head up to face him, “So you’re saying I smell like a woman?”

Phineas laughed out loud, cupping Phillip’s face, “You’re much too handsome to be a woman, but your hair always smells like Charity’s shampoo.”

Phillip blushed, he hoped Phineas wouldn’t remember any of this come tomorrow, “Well I simply care about my hygiene and floral scents are better for covering up sweat.”

Phineas snorted once, nuzzling his face on his neck, “God you’re so pretty..you look like an angel..”

“Phin.”

“Maybe not an angel, but just a really really  _ really _ good looking one.” he slurred, leaning back as he kissed his cheek, “I’m so lucky to have found you.”

Phillip laughed, a small smile on his lips, “Phin be serious.”

“Your laugh is so pretty too, and also your smile, just your  _ everything _ .” his smile was lopsided, but it was still as bright and genuine as ever, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my bed, but as long as it stays that way I just won’t think about it.” he pokes Phillip’s cheek, “You have such a round face, too.”

Phillip’s face warmed slightly, his hands going through his hair, “You’re not too bad yourself, Phin.” he knows Phineas probably won’t understand him in this state, but he keeps talking regardless, “For such a scoundrel you have an amazing personality..and body.”

Phineas laughed again, pulling Phillip close to him, “But you’re so much better than me! Don’t sell yourself short because you  _ deserve _ it. You’re so beautiful and smart and kind.” he stopped, “God I adore you so much.”

Phillip placed his hands on his chest, “You should rest dearest, you need it more than I do.”

“Will you stay?”

Phillip leaned forward with a giggle, kissing him as he rubbed their noses together, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.”

“‘cept the bookstore you always drag me to.”

“Only because I love seeing your reaction to sitting there for hours.”

Phineas groaned, planting his face on Phillip’s chest. After another comfortable silence, Phillip carding through his hair absentmindedly, Phineas spoke again:

“I love you, Phillip.”

“I know, Phin.”

“I really do, there’s no one else on this planet I could love more than you. You’re so amazing, you deserve so much for putting up with me all the time.”

Phillip smiled warmly at him, “Your happiness, the joy you bring me, the brightness that comes wherever you go...that’s an award enough for me.”

Phineas looked up at him, his cheek pressing against his chest, the crows feet at the corners of his eyes becoming more apparent, “I would give you the whole world if I could..it’s what you deserve, you’re so important to me, and I love you so much.” he yawned, nuzzling against him, “I would give you so many jewels, clothes, unicorns..but it won’t be enough to show how much you mean to me.”

Phillip couldn’t help but laugh from the mention of unicorns, but he decides to blame it on the medication, “You don’t have to, Phin, I know how much you love me. And I love you too, Phin, so much.” he kissed the top of his head,

Phineas giggled with another yawn, “Really?”

“Yes, really, who wouldn’t love someone as amazing as you?”

“A lot of people..but I don’t need their love if I have yours, and the troupe’s..and Charity’s…” he started to drift off, “I love all of you so much, but I can’t show how much I do..I love you.”

Phillip pulled the covers over the both of them, bringing Phineas closer to him, “We all know how much you love us Phin, and we love you just the same, especially me.” he pressed their foreheads together.

“Yeah..”

Phillip sat up, moving Phineas’ head to rest on his lap, his hand going through his hair, “You should rest now, dear.”

Phineas hummed, nuzzling onto his lap as he pulled the blankets up to his chin. He closed his eyes, mumbling a final “I love you” before drifting back to sleep.

Phillip looked down at him, a permanent smile on his face. His heart swells at the intense feeling of love for the man resting on him, remembering why he fell hard for him in the first place. Phillip loves this man so much, even in such a state of being too drugged up to be coherent, even at his lowest lows, even when he puts himself in danger for the safety of others, he just has so much love to give this man.

If only he could put it into words. If only he could show how much he reciprocates Phineas’ feelings for him since the day they met. He decides to not think of that and simply enjoy the man sleeping on his lap so contently, his hand twirling and feeling Phineas’ dark wavy hair.


	13. Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> Implied poly between Phillip/Phineas/Charity although this is heavily barlyle  
> (This is also a continuation of chapter two)

The hospital as a whole was a blur to Phineas, everything just seemed to be happening too quick too fast for his brain to catch up. For once he wanted to slow down and accept the fact that despite everything he was alive, Phillip was alive, the troupe were all alive. After gazing into death itself and nearly being consumed by it, he just wanted a moment to just enjoy living.

But of course that never happened. Everyday doctors would come in and examine both him and Phillip’s injuries, remove their bandages and replace them with fresh ones, give them medication that made them fall asleep only for them to repeat once they woke up again. Despite being chained to the beds that could have easily been their deathbed, he and Phillip still managed to grow closer, Phineas muttering tearful apologies to him at every given chance only for Phillip to tearfully console him. He knew Phillip was internally mad at him, he just didn’t say it, but that didn’t stop Phineas from going to any length to seek forgiveness.

Phillip was the first to be helped up from his bed, his injuries only being in his ribcage, back, and head, so he had mobility after a few months. Phineas was a different story altogether, unlike Phillip, he had received a bad injury to his left knee. It wasn’t serious, but it was enough to keep him immobilized much longer than his partner. Phillip of course tried to make light of the situation by joking about how his cane would become more than a prop, Phineas would laugh despite being fearful that he may not be able to walk on it anymore.

However, as is his usual style, he defied the odds yet again. Another a month and a half after Phillip started walking around the hospital, Phineas was being helped up and walking on his own two feet (with the help of two doctors and Charity). Phillip was so overjoyed that he hugged him fully for the first time since the fire, barely able to exclaim his happiness without being interrupted by a coughing fit. Phineas tried to wrap his arms around him, but the both of them ended up tumbling back onto Phineas’ bed.

The first slow day was most certainly when they were released. The troupe was there waiting for them on the ruins of the old building, digging through the ruins for anything they could find, anything worth something to rebuild.

On the very steps where the fire threatened to claim them, Phineas and Phillip decided to become partners, Phillip using whatever money he had saved to help them rebuild a massive tent just along the docks, Phineas being overjoyed enough to kiss him on the spot. Charity went between the two men, pulling them down into a hug, the girls joining them as well, the three of them sharing kisses with one another.

Perhaps not all was lost after all.

***

Hours later, everyone has left to the Barnum mansion, the cheering and chatter has died down, leaving the two ringmasters sitting on the steps of the ashen ruins, a single, small bottle of whiskey being passed between them.

Phineas drank more than he thought, more than he intended to.

Phillip was just as stingy with it.

It was silent between them for a while, each of them leaning on one another, just being thankful they can even share this moment with one another. That is until Phineas couldn’t ignore an overwhelming feeling in his chest.

“Phillip..” he said quietly,

“Hm?” the younger turned his head, putting down the bottle.

Phineas turned his head as well, looking into Phillip’s blue eyes. He doesn’t know why these words suddenly leave him, but the feeling is too much to bear, “Why did you risk this for me? Neither of us know if this will even work or not, this could all go wrong and we’ll end up penniless, homeless..” just the word made Phineas shiver, his lips becoming looser with the slight buzz of alcohol, “Why would you risk that for me?”

Phillip wrapped an arm around Phineas’ waist, bringing him closer, “Isn’t it obvious, PT?” he looked at him for a moment before continuing, “When I said you brought joy into my life, I meant it, when I said you made me feel so much love that I’ve never felt before, I meant it. I’m willing to sacrifice everything simply because I want to bring back the life you dragged me into, make a place for us to be ourselves again. I really want this, I want this with you.”

Phineas looked down, nuzzling closer to him, his arms wrapping around Phillip, “But..I ruined the life you had before, at least you had the means of having a roof over your head, food on the table. I nearly ruined everything because of my mistakes-”

“PT, I know you were driven by that spotlight, I know you just wanted to be more than the man you were, but we’re going to make this better. It will take a long time for everyone to forgive you, but we need to make sure we have a home for our family.” he grabbed his hands, holding them in his, “I’m willing to risk it all for you, Charity is willing to risk it, the troupe is willing to. Now you just need to be willing to risk it.”

Phineas looks towards the ruins, then back at Phillip. His eyes start to water as he nods, leaning his head down to kiss Phillip’s hands, “I’m sorry..for everything..”

“I know you are. It’s going to be okay.” Phillip cupped his cheek, keeping his eyes off of what remained of their old building, “We just need to grow from this, bad things happened, but we were both so close to death that we need to just appreciate that not all hope is lost. We’ll make it through this together, but you need to trust us...because I trust you.”

Phineas leaned into his palm, a small smile on his lips, “I think I’ve heard a metaphor for this somewhere, although it's not very pleasant given the circumstances.”

“What is it?”

“The fire-bird, the phoenix, whenever it reaches the end of its life time, it gets consumed by its own flame and turns into ashes only to be reborn from them stronger than ever before.”

Phillip chuckled, “I think I rather like that, have you been reading my plays?”

Phineas blushed a little, “I..may have in my spare time. I was just curious but I found an old script on your desk of a play you’ve never put on and,” he exhaled through his nose, “I just found it..enthralling to say the least.”

Phillip turned a little red, “Really?” he looked away, “They weren’t really that good, but I really wished I could have them on stage, anything I’ve put on is dull for a lack of better words.”

“The play I saw I can admit it being dull, but that may have been my inability to sit still for very long,” Phineas leaned in to kiss his cheek, “But I quite admire your poeticism, darling.”

Phillip kissed him back, “Let’s go back home, the others are probably wondering where we are.” he picked up the bottle, finishing off what little was left before throwing it into the ruined building, “We can discuss my ‘poeticism’ later after we finish the paperwork for the property.”

“Trust me I’m looking forward to it.” Phineas kissed him one last time.

He barely took a moment before trying to lift Phillip up, only for his knee to ache in the attempt. Phillip chided him before he picked Phineas up instead, the elder immediately burying his face in Phillip’s shoulder as he carried him from the ashes.

This time, instead of death claiming the two of them, they walked away with bright smiles on their faces, both new, better men then they were before.


	14. Soulmate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: E (EXPLICIT SEX)  
> (This is also Naga AU because I will never be sick of this)  
> This was very quick and there may be a few errors but i decided to just post it anyway so pardon any weird spellings/sentences, uni has me very busy nowadays but I'll keep writing as much as I can \o/

Phillip’s life before manhood has all been a blur, granted those years weren’t spectacular, they were much better than when he grew into maturity only to become the biggest disappointment his parents had ever the displeasure of calling a son. He remembers once such instance of peace and love before everything went wrong:

His mother held him in her arms, cradling him and rocking him back and forth as Phillip calmed down from an emotional outburst, even now he doesn’t know why he did, but all he remembers before is crying in front of his father’s friends then being carried off swiftly by his mother to his room. She whispered soothing words to him, smiling down at him. Phillip reached up towards her, grabbing her hand as tight as he could as his small black tail swayed gently in her arms.

Then she told him a story, one that many children were probably told at one point or another, a story of True Soulmates. It was said that for every naga, there was another out there destined to be with them, to complete them in a sense, to make each other whole. Supposedly, they were perfect for one another, being their opposite just to ground one another. They’re love was definite and absolute, and no law of the land could change it. Their love is eternal, everlasting even when both are dead, continuing even into the afterlife as one cannot live without the other.

-

Of course now as a full grown man, he knows that story was just a made up fairy tale to give children hope they’ll never truly be alone in this world. Phillip long since learned his lesson for hoping anyone would want him out of everyone else. Who would?

Eventually, he would learn the answer to all his prayers was one man all along, one that he never would think for a second would love someone as defective as himself.

-

The two men remained curled up together across the couch, watching the fire crackle melodically in the fireplace, giving the room a peaceful orange glow as they drank from their glasses gingerly, the light bouncing off of the glass and their shiny scales. The festivities of the day had begun to finally die out, a whole afternoon spent exchanging flowers, chocolates, and other gift items for the sake of spreading love and joy to the troupe, and in turn themselves.

The only reason they came back to their home is because Phillip ate too many sweets or else they would still be with their family back at the tent, enjoying wine and stories with everyone. Not like Phillip minded an excuse to remain curled up next to Phineas, his tail wrapped around the pythons in a perfect knot. Phillip put down his glass, moving until he was laying across Phineas’ chest, the elder setting down his glass as well.

Phillip looked him in his beautiful hazel eyes, leaning a little bit forward to catch him in a soft kiss. Phineas hummed into it, his hands feeling the youngers’ back, claws lightly scratching against his shirt.

Phineas was the first to pull back, “What’s this for all of a sudden?” he kissed him briefly,

Phillip simply kissed him again with a reverent, “Can’t a man simply love his mate?”

Another brief kiss, “I never said you couldn’t.” Phineas leaned his head forward to kiss along Phillip’s jawline, earning him a sigh, “But I surely hope you don’t want to do anything extraneous with a stomach ache.”

Phillip wrapped his arms around Phineas tighter, his tail following suit, “I suppose, but I feel much better now~”

With that, Phineas smirked at him, “Is this my final gift, darling?”

Phillip copied his smirk, “It wouldn’t be a day of love without it, would it?”

Immediately, Phineas is turning them over, pinning Phillip to the couch and trapping him in a bruising kiss, growling into his mouth as he tore of Phillip’s shirt and cravat, his own following suit. Soon, both were lost in each other, their bodies moving so in sync as their tails trapped one another in a hold so intense that they couldn’t escape even if they tried, squeezing one another as Phineas drove in deeper and faster into the younger, relishing in his delicious moans.

As Phillip felt his partner so deeply within him, the story goes through his head again, his lips parting once again as he moaned loudly, claws clambering for purchase on Phineas’ back. As he moaned out the elder’s name over and over again like a blissful mantra, he remembers how True Soulmates were known to be so in sync with one another’s thoughts, feelings, actions, able to know what was wrong or what they needed as if they were old friends. As Phineas thrusted into him with mindless abandon, growling on his bruised neck and shoulder, Phillip’s own mind became lost when he vaguely felt the feeling of having someone out there who truly and undoubtedly loves him for who he is.

Phineas coiled around him in an iron grip, biting into his neck before thrusting in as deep as he could, keeping himself in place as he came hard into Phillip’s pliant, welcoming body. Phillip came soon after with a high moan that echoed off the ceiling, the warmth and bliss of his afterglow being filled with the intense passion and love he felt for his partner, his  _ mate _ . Phineas remained sheathed in him, catching his breath on Phillip’s shoulder, his breaths warm and passionate as he kept coming. Phillip kept his loose arms around Phineas, shuddering and moaning if Phineas so much as moved an inch.

When the fog cleared in the room and the two of them came down from their respective highs, they shared yet another kiss, although less frantic, more reverent and loving than before. Phineas cupped Phillip’s warm, fevered face, smiling at him with absolute adoration and love. Phillip leaned forward, kissing him briefly before resting his head on Phineas’ shoulder, their tails now a pleasant weight on one another as they simply laid there, revelling in their scents, their mere presence.

Phineas mumbled onto his shoulder, his eyes half lidded, four words that Phillip was sure to have heard at least a million times that day, but it still meant so much to him: “Happy Valentine’s Day, darling…”

The story may have been made up, it may have been misconstrued for Phillip to fall into place; but he has not even the slightest bit of doubt in his mind that this man before him, the one to bring him so much joy into his life, the beautiful man which had pulled him from his suffocating life with his parents, the man who changed everything Phillip ever knew about his own race, was his Soulmate. Undeniably and forever.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Phin.”

They kissed once more before their weight finally got the better of them and they both collided onto the ground, laughing hysterically, just holding each other as they rolled in place.

This is a life Phillip could get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines day everyone <3


	15. Cruelty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Trigger Warning: Animal death)  
> Rating: T
> 
> This is a little late but i had life stuff going on yesterday but here is the prompt for yesterday (I hope y'all know this made me very upset writing it and I absolutely hate anything with this but this was all I could come up with so I'm sorry in advance and if you absolutely cannot bear this kind of stuff I suggest you click away now)

_ Just pull the trigger, aim it and pull the trigger _ .

When Phineas was told one of the show horse’s leg had broken, he felt a sinking in his gut. But he had to stay strong for the teary stagehand who came into his office to tell him. He reassured the man that accidents happen with a small, forced smile on his lips.

He knew what he had to do and he felt sick in his stomach.

The stagehand led him to the ring where they were practicing, pointing to the horse in question. Phineas felt doubt crawl into him, he didn’t think he could do this. It was his favorite horse, Penelope, one he had known since she was a filly.

But he had to stay strong for the troupe as they all knew what had to happen. A horse with a broken leg only had one fate. And Phineas despised it.

He asked for help to bring her outside, far from the tent, a gun in his hand. He took deep breaths, trying to work up the courage while not crumbling like his body wanted him to do so desperately.

_ Stay strong, Barnum, just aim and pull the trigger. It’s the right thing to do _ .

When he was finally alone, he patted Penelope one last time, telling her she was a good horse and he would never do this to her if he didn’t have to. He lifted the gun up slowly, aiming right between her eyes, keeping it there as he looked down at her.

_ Aim and pull, you can cry about it later when she isn’t in pain _ .

Phineas took in a deep, shaking breath, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He hated this, he hated this so much. She’s in so much pain and there’s no way she can live without one leg, it’s the only thing to do. Penelope rested her head on the ground, not looking at Phineas in the eye anymore.

He knows this is what he said he would do, he said he would make it quick and as painless as possible. But his aching heart kept his hand still as memories of the times he spent in her stable flashed by, the times where he and Phillip would ride around in the open field on their respective horses, Phineas always choosing Penelope, when he had to help her birth her colt that Phillip named Obie. 

Phineas’ hand started to shake, tears reforming in his eyes. After another minute of trying to convince his finger to move on its own, the gun fell out of his hands as he fell to the ground.

_ I can’t do this. It’s not fair. _

Phineas covered his face, he just can’t bring himself to do something like this.

_ She has a baby, a whole life ahead of her, why is the world so cruel?! _

-

Phillip was sitting beside Anne and O’Malley, comforting them after the news of Penelope’s incident. The stagehand who said he did it by accident apologized so many times to Phillip, saying he would never do such a thing intentionally. Phillip was the one to hire him, so of course he believed him and gave him the rest of the day off so he didn’t have to be here when..

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a while and there was no gunshot, not even a quiet one, that he’s been listening out for. After another ten minutes of silence, Phillip gestured to O’Malley to follow him outside to check on Phineas. Anne went to Lettie, nodding in understanding, wrapping her shawl around her body tighter, wiping her eyes on it as she leaned on Lettie.

“Y’think he’s not going to do it?” O’Malley asked him,

“I don’t know, he seemed to be level headed about it while she was being brought outside.” Phillip said as he slipped on his coat, “But..I just want to be sure.”

“I’ve known ‘im for years, we met on the railroad, whenever a dog died, he wouldn’t be able to look at the poor thing. I remember ‘im being so shaken up that he couldn’t work.” O’Malley slipped on his own coat, putting on his bowler’s cap, “Lead the way, boss.”

Phillip nodded, keeping his head down as he walked outside towards where he and the other men had carried Penelope. His heart stopped in his chest when he could make out the huddled form of Phineas on the ground.

But he didn’t hear a sound from him at all, no gun shot, nothing. Penelope moved her head slightly. Phillip reacted immediately, O’Malley following him.

“Phineas!”

The elder didn’t lift his head at all. As Phillip got closer, he could hear the definite sounds of crying.

Phillip was by his side in an instant, grabbing his shoulders trying to get Phineas to look at him. Phineas had his hands pressing into his eyes, burying his face on Phillip’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

O’Malley couldn’t even look at Phineas, rubbing his eyes then his chin, trying to keep himself together.

Phillip slowly removed Phineas’ hands from his face, “Phin, dear, look at me.”

Phineas’ hands were shaking, his breaths so quick and ragged as he rasped out, “ _ I can’t do it...it’s not fair… _ ”

Phillip wrapped his arms around him again, hiding his face from the horse, rubbing circles on his back, “It’s okay, Phin, you don’t have to do it.” he looked towards O’Malley, gesturing to the gun on the ground, “I’m going to take him inside, wait until we’re in the tent, then count down slowly from ten.”

O’Malley nodded, checking the gun before responding, “Sure, boss. I’ll make it quick.” he looked towards Phineas, “It’s not your fault, Barnum, I’m sorry.”

Phillip slowly helped his lover off the ground, keeping his face hidden as he wrapped his coat around his shoulders, “Phin, let’s go inside, you shouldn’t be out here.”

“ _ I-I’m sorry, Phillip, I- I can’t do this- I- _ ” Phineas said through sobs. Phillip wiped away his own tears, he knows he had to be the strong one here as hard as it is.

“You don’t have to, now come on.” he kept a hand around Phineas’ waist as he led them inside to the backstage dressing rooms, as far as they can get from the troupe.

No one should have to see Phineas this way. He would know Phineas wouldn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable. Phillip sat them down, Phineas settling in his lap with his arms wrapped around him, his whole body trembling.

Phillip peeked outside through a small opening in the tent, watching O’Malley, slowly counting down from ten to himself as he saw him raise the gun.

 

_ Three… _

 

_ Two… _

 

_ One. _

 

Phillip tightened his hold on Phineas, making sure to cover his ears, keeping him close as a loud bang echoed from outside. Phineas screamed into his chest, remaining around Phillip as tight as a python. After a brief minute of nothing but pure silence, that’s when Phineas let out a loud cry:

“ _ It’s not fair! _ ”

Phillip loosened his hold on Phineas, only to rock them back and forth, tears of his own going down his face.

_ Keep it together, for him. _

Phineas looked up at him, his eyes red and raw, looking nothing like his usual self. He was so broken, the endless stream of tears making him look so young yet so old as he cried out again, “ _ Why is the world so fucking cruel… _ ”

Phillip cupped his face, kissing his cheeks, temples, and the corners of his eyes, tasting salt on his lips as he carded a hand through Phineas’ hair, “Phin, Phin, just breathe, try to calm down-”

“ _ S-she had a baby! A whole life! What’s going to happen to Obie?! He’s going to be s-so alone without a mother- _ ” he cut himself off, his hands gripping onto Phillip’s cravat until his knuckles turned white, “ _ It’s not fair! It’s not fair! _ ”

“Phin, Obie is going to be okay, he has all of us, he has you.”

“ _ I-I was about to be the one to kill his mother, Phillip, I can’t face him… _ ”

“And because of that, I know you will love him so much, you will give him so much of the love that you gave to Penelope. I just know it, and I know it hurts because I’ve had to witness my own favorite horse being shot-” Phillip stopped, taking a breath, “He had broken his hind leg and there was nothing we could do, so my father had no choice but to tell one of the grooms to shoot him. I shouted for him not to, but there was no other option. I watched it happen and my father left as I looked up at the groom, demanding he tell me why, but all I saw was him crying too. He threw the gun down and held me. I was only seven years old and I had to witness such cruelty, but you know what he said to me?”

Phineas shook his head, wiping his eyes fruitlessly on Phillip’s coat.

“He told me: ‘Phillip, this world is a terrible place, it can be so cruel yet so loving at the same time, but I know you loved that horse and I know you can give so much love to the others. We just have to work through this and move on.’” he kissed Phineas’ trembling lips, “And do you know what the horse’s name was?”

Phineas just shook his head again.

“I named him Oberon.” he paused, “I named the colt after him because I wanted a chance to give him so much love and care that I couldn’t before. This is tragic, this shouldn’t have happened, and she most certainly did not deserve that, but this world would not be the same without cruelty.”

“B-but it would be so much better..” Phineas said, his voice gone from all his crying.

“It would. If the world did not have cruelty, you would have your parents, you would have had a successful life, you would be a different man. If my life were harmonious and peaceful, my parents would love me, I would still be writing plays...but I never would have met you.” he kissed him on the cheek, “Cruelty is a necessary evil that we all must live with, but without it, we would have never known each other, we never would have gotten engaged...we wouldn’t have this safe haven all around us.”

Phineas looked down, a small smile on his lips as he looks at their matching engagement rings.

Phillip kissed his forehead, rubbing his back, “I’ll go bring us some tea, just wait here.” he stood up, wiping his own eyes, “We’ll join the troupe when you’re good and ready to.”

Phineas nodded, “T-that sounds good to me..” he still wiped his eyes on Phillip’s coat, curling it tighter around him.

They spent a few hours there, talking over a few cups of tea about the good times with Penelope, anxiously discussing what the possibilities would be with Obie, Phineas’ old smile coming back on his face. Phillip knew he would still be distraught about this for another week or so, but he would be there for him as often and as long as he needs him to be.

The world may be cruel, maybe a little unfair, but as long as they had each other, they knew they could bear the weight of it together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just..going to hug my dogs now.


	16. Harmony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for the angst of the previous chapter, I decided to write some wholesome wing boys \o/ Wing AU was created by Silverlynxx on tumblr and ao3 and I just had to write for it  
> Rating: G

Phillip was absolutely speechless when he was asked to join Phineas in a fly around the town. He was so moonstruck that he felt frozen in place, his white dove wings fluttering slightly as Phineas took his hand, leading him outside where the sun had just begun to set. The wind was the perfect speed, just strong enough for flight but calm enough for a peaceful flight. Phillip was sure this was a joke, someone like Phineas with wings as beautiful and massive as his couldn’t possibly want a little dove like him.

They heard some commotion as they left the tent, mostly some high fives and proud whispering. But as Phineas shut the canvas behind them, the only sound was that of nature and their steady beating hearts.

Phillip followed on wobbly legs, his hand trembling in Phineas’ when he was led away from the circus grounds to the neighboring docks. He watched the sun’s light reflect off of Phineas’ illustrious peacock plumage, refracting an entire rainbow around them, matching the proud glow on Phineas’ face. Phillip, by instinct, curled his wings up as he had been instructed since he could walk, but relaxed when Phineas completely opened his, shielding Phillip from the light of the sunset. 

His wings weren’t much in comparison, but he stretched them as far as he could, stepping even closer. Phineas stepped up in unison until there was only an inch between them, his hand going to cup Phillip’s jawline. Phillip looked up into his hazel eyes, any doubt in his mind fading away in that gorgeous smile.

“Ready?” he said with a comforting smile.

Phillip felt a knot forming in his throat, he felt like he couldn’t speak. He returned the smile, his eyes glassy as he murmured, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Okay. Just trust me and I’ll never let you fall.” Phineas said as he grabbed his hand tighter, kissing him once on the forehead, “Think of it like a waltz.”

Phillip nodded in affirmation, blinking the tears in his eyes away. 

It started as a small flutter, wings curling up above their heads, then almost in perfect harmony, they flapped their wings down powerfully, launching them up into the air with that single forward thrust as they kicked the ground hard. Phineas of course went a little higher than Phillip, but the younger was even with him as their hands were still together.

Phillip looked around as time slowed down at the height of their lift, all sound being drowned out by the wind, he was so high up in the air, it almost felt surreal. Then he looked back at Phineas, who wore a bright, proud smile as they swooped down into an exhilarating freefall, their wings tucking in to move quicker.

The ground was quickly approaching, their hands still locked together like a perfect knot. They looked at each other, laughing from the thrill of it, at the realization they’re actually doing this together. Any ridicule they may receive moves to the very back of their minds.

Just before they struck the ground, their wings opened back up, riding the wind current back up, their hands finally letting go as they split off in opposite directions only to come back together. Phineas led them towards the town, lights of the lanterns making the Earth and sky match as the sun set further under the horizon, the pink of sunset becoming the deep blue of dusk. Phillip looked down as he simply rode the current, following Phineas like a guiding light, his own North Star. 

Phineas turned to look back to him, stopping for a moment to fly in a circle around Phillip, his large and powerful wings allowing him to maneuver so perfectly around his dove. Phillip did an aerial backflip, giggling as he mirrored Phineas, making a larger circle around him.

Their heart beats matched perfectly, their breaths coming out at the same time as they flew as if they were dancing in the center ring, hardly noticing the curious looks of everyone down below them. The only thing that mattered to them was their careful, articulate, and graceful dance.

Phineas flew underneath Phillip, back facing the city below them. Phillip leaned forward to kiss Phineas’ nose, the elder’s face scrunching up with a giggle. He grabbed Phillip’s waist, spinning the two of them in circles mid-air until they were dizzy. Phillip twirled in a circle, mimicking a ballerina, moving in another large circle around Phineas. The elder flapped his peacock wings again, taking himself higher up only to drop back down to Phillip’s level.

After what felt like a beautiful eternity, one that neither man never wanted to leave, Phineas moved up until their chests were touching, leaning down slowly to trap Phillip in an experimental yet passionate kiss, wrapping his wings around Phillip as they both started to freefall once again, this time head first.

Phillip trusted Phineas. He knew he would never let them fall.

In a flurry of feathers and flapping, Phineas opened his wings up again, holding Phillip close to his chest as the two of them started to flap their wings slowly to move down back to Earth. Phillip felt saddened, he wanted to stay in the sky even longer, dance among the stars with Phineas by his side, as it’s meant to be.

Their feet landed softly in the very center of town square, their wings curling up comfortably. 

They stared at one another for a moment, their lips parted, just in awe of what they actually did, what they’ve always wanted to do for so long. Phillip was the first to laugh, hugging Phineas so tight, his wings fluttering as he nuzzled his cheek onto Phineas’ chest. Phineas started laughing as well, picking up the younger man and spinning him in circles, his own wings fluttering in delight and just pure  _ joy _ .

They kissed once more before grabbing each others’ hands, looking at one another in the eye before taking off to fly back to the circus, both different men than when they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wholesome birbs


	17. Outcast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> (use of f slur, implied child abuse)

Slander was a normal occurrence at the Circus, mobs were just as common and almost never seemed to fade away despite how often they have alerted the authorities. Everyday he would witness protestors shouting at the oddities just horrible, vile things, things that were all too familiar to Phillip.

He swore he’s heard their exact words when he was only a child, being pushed around the schoolyard, being called such awful things simply for being nice to a classmate. He remembers hearing all the boys shouting at the top of their lungs in a chant: ‘ _ Phillip the faggot! _ ’ which would only make him cry his eyes out every evening when he can still hear it echoing in his head, even now as a grown man he still feels an ache when he dreams of those moments when he would be pushed around and bullied in the corridors. Of course when his father heard rumors of such things being shouted from all the rich boys around the school, he reprimanded Phillip once again for something he thought was just innocent fun, he just held a boy’s hand, he never meant for any of this.

After another period of self reflection soon after reaching puberty, he felt disgusted to know it wasn’t completely untrue. He kept it hidden of course, but that didn’t stop the insults from being whispered behind his back at how much of a scandal and a drunkard he is, how he surely disappointed his family for going into playwriting. At one point it was simply too much to handle so he ran away as fast as he could to just sit in solitude, away from the voices, away from the ridicule, only to collide with Barnum purely on accident. After a long discussion and a few cups of tea, Phillip ended up spending that night with the Barnums, which he is ever so grateful for.

Hearing those insults again, this time from grown adults shouting this at the family Phillip has grown to love made him want to vomit and shout in anger all at once. Namely, however, he would see the blunt of their insults aimed towards his boss, the man who created it all, the man who came from nothing and made a living from his own merit and hard work.

Barnum seemed to take it..unnaturally well. Men would shout at him that he’s the Devil’s incarnate, and he would simply request them to leave. Others would say he’s a crook, a fraud, and he would smile down with only a little bit of the gleam in his eye fading. 

Then one day, Barnum’s temperance seemed to fade when an older gentleman, about his father’s age, shouted from a crowd, claiming he was a sodomer, an unfaithful husband and father, and, for a lack of any politeness, a cocksucker. Phillip of course gasped because that’s simply not true, the ringmaster had a loving relationship with his wife and had two equally amazing daughters, but of course he would never think less of him regardless of his..preferences, it would simply be hypocritical if he did. Barnum flinched slightly from it as if the words could harm him, requesting for Phillip to call the police in a low voice as he stepped inside the building, his head hanging a little lower than normal.

Phillip did as requested, but was driven into curiosity at Barnum’s rather unusual reaction, it’s not any different from the others he’s received before. He knows it’s not his place, he shouldn’t interfere with this let alone discuss a..private topic with the man who hired him. But the way the man flinched, the way his posture shifted, he can tell those words affected him, shook him to the core.

Despite his logical half telling him to leave it be, to bury his heart and let the ringmaster be, his chest aches from seeing the man’s prowess fade so suddenly. Phillip knew this most certainly isn’t his place to ask or say anything, but he needs to let Barnum know something important, something he was never told as a child. He bounded the corner, heading up the stairs to their office lofting above the ring.

He knocked once with a soft, “PT?”

“Come in, Phil.”

His voice seemed different. A little less lively. 

Phillip swallowed a lump in his throat and entered. Barnum was, as usual, sitting at his desk, working aimlessly through the finances, although his pencil tended to wander away from the page towards the small sketchbook to his left.

Phillip cleared his throat, sitting down in the chair across from him, “Are you..doing okay?”

Barnum didn’t look up as he sketched an elephant onto the notepad, “I’m alright, Phil, just the usual riffraff.”

“You just seem a little..bothered-”

“I’m fine.” Phillip knew he was lying, he can see it in the way his hand started to shake.

Phillip looked down into his lap, then back towards the elder, who’s eyes seemed a little glassy upon closer inspection, “PT I-”

“Phineas, please.” he finally looked up, “We’ve known each other long enough, after all.”

Phillip’s heart flipped a little in his chest, he didn’t think Barnum- Phineas would trust him with his first name, “Phineas, I just..” he trailed off, clearing his throat once again, “I just wanted to say that rumors are rumors...they more than likely came from that man’s asshole and, well, if it was the case that those rumors were true then..” he rubbed the back of his neck, he can’t believe he’s actually saying this to his employer, “I wouldn’t, well...it’s all fine to me.” he paused, “My parents are the small-minded ones, I never inherited that from them and-”

“No no, I understand.” Phineas said with a small wave of his hand, his usual smile returning to his face. He looked at him in silence, as if trying to come up with something to say before muttering a genuine, “Thank you..”

Phillip smiled back, a warmth crawling up his neck, “It’s no trouble, I know you better than them, and I know you’re a good man, Phineas. Just..try not to listen to them because they don’t understand you like I do and I’ll still be there for you regardless.” Phillip wishes someone told him this during his childhood instead of the countless times he’s been told he’ll be damned if he doesn’t stop.

Phineas chuckled a little, wiping his eye with his sleeve.

“Phineas?” he says with momentary horror, thinking he said something wrong.

“It’s nothing, I just never thought I would hear that, never really had a close friend to be told that so..it’s nice.”

Phillip’s smile widened at the phrase “close friend”. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t recall ever having a friend, “So I suppose this makes me more than an apprentice then?”

Phineas laughs out loud, “Now now, just because we’re friends doesn’t mean to think above your station, Phil."

Phillip laughs in return, “One day I’ll own this circus, Barnum, just you wait.”

Phineas leans over the desk just to hit Phillip on the shoulder, “Over my dead body, Carlyle.”

The two of them continued talking for a while, a new sense of familiarity between them as they talk like more than just business colleagues, but like old friends. Phillip of course doesn’t miss the new liveliness in the ringmaster after the tension of the afternoon died down leaving room for their friendship to bud finally after months of knowing each other.

Phillip’s heart warms at the thought again.  _ Friend _ . Two outcasts together as friends. He knows it’s sad, but he wouldn’t trade this for the world as he and Phineas quip and joke back and forth.

He supposes most outcasts come together this way, but he never expected to find something like this with Phineas.


	18. Child(ren)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: T  
> (implied oviposition, but nothing explicit)  
> Naga AU continuing off of Chapter 4 \o/

Another loud scream echoed from the nesting room, making Phineas coil tighter around himself painfully, his hands going into his already messy hair, pulling and tugging at it until his scalp ached. He could hear his mate screaming at the top of his lungs as he nested in the room just behind him, a shiver going down his spine as he whimpered to himself, claws digging into his own tail as he practically became a ball on the floor.

The doctor, Dr. Jolibois, sat beside him completely at ease, drinking from his cup of tea as he read through a book, his expression cool and collected, “You know at the rate your curling up you may end up crushing your ribcage faster than calming yourself down, Mr. Barnum.”

Phineas glared up at him from his huddle on the ground, ignoring his own cup of tea, “You wouldn’t understand, it’s not  _ your _ mate who is in pain right now! What if he needs me right now-”

“Mr. Carlyle needs to be alone for this process, I’ll know if something is wrong, you just need to do your part and not give yourself a heart attack.” 

Another scream followed by a pained hiss. Phineas gripped his head with a loud groan, rocking in place. The viper beside him leaned a little to the side to rub the center of Phineas’ back, placing his book on the ground.

“I’m assuming this is both of your first times?” Jolibois whispered to him, “It’s normal to feel nervous the first time.”

“I know but I’m just..scared.” Phineas looked away, trying to hide the bags under his eyes,

“Why is that?”

“There were so many complications..Phillip is so much smaller than average males..he was in so much pain when the labor started- I’m just so scared that something will..that he’ll-”

The good doctor sat Phineas up, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, “That is exactly why you’re panicking. If you keep using what-ifs, you’ll only throw yourself into a panicked cycle over nothing. It’s normal for the first nesting to be painful, his body has never endured this before, I’ve helped many other nesting nagas and their mates through the course of the incubation and I can assure you he’ll be okay.” Phineas can’t fathom how the doctor can be so calm while Phillip shouts with yet another pained moan, “Now, since you cannot seem to relax sitting here, you will wait in the other room and I’ll summon you once I deem it’s okay.”

“But I-”

“Doctor’s orders, Mr. Barnum.” he pointed towards Phineas’ bedroom, “Just because you’re a cobra and Mr. Carlyle’s mate doesn’t mean you know what's best for him or you.”

After a staring contest between the two, Phineas conceded, slithering off to the room two doors down, laying on his own bed -- which hasn’t been used at all since Phillip started nesting --  with an irritated huff. He tried to calm his own nerves as he waits in tense silence for Jolibois to return, but it proved useless as he could still hear Phillip even from this far.

He thought of anything else other than his constant worries since day one, thinking of the possibilities for their children, how thrilled they’ll be once they hatch. Phineas can take them to the circus, give them so much love and attention that they deserve, play around with them with Phillip. Phineas can already imagine their giggles, their little purrs and chirps, the proud smile on Phillip’s face. 

Phineas curls up into a ball on the bed, but not with the crushing strength he had moments before. Phillip will be okay, he can feel it, he just knows Phillip will return to his usual self in no time.

\---

Hours later, he was allowed into the nesting room.

Seconds after that, he was moving beside his mate, tired, sweaty, and spent as he curled lazily around his clutch of three eggs. Phillip’s hands trembled as he gripped onto Phineas with half his normal strength, but the emotion was there as he looked up at him. Despite the exhaustion on both of their faces, pride shone through the dark circles, the half lidded eyes, at finally being able to see their clutch, no matter how small it may be.

Jolibois smiled as he inspected Phillip and the eggs, chuckling when he saw them simply looking at their clutch.

Phineas kissed Phillip over and over, never letting his limp body go as they both cried to one another, happy to finally have a family of their own. Phineas put a hand over one of the eggs, already coming up with a million name ideas for them, already picturing what outfits and toys to get them.

Phillip of course succumbed to the exhaustion as soon as Jolibois gave them an all clear, kissing Phineas once more before getting comfortable on the nest. Phineas wasn’t too far behind him, thanking the doctor one last time before cuddling up against his mate, his hand still over the clutch protectively.

Jolibois nodded with a soft, “Congratulations, Mr. Barnum.” and left quietly from the room.

Phineas smiled against Phillip’s skin, his other hand going to cradle the sore area on his lover as he drifted off, already impatient to see the hatchlings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy naga dads forever
> 
> (Jolibois is an OC made by aulyk, but i figured i might as well cameo him in here)


	19. Ambition/Only One Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G
> 
> (got lazy so i just combined two prompts into one, needed me more fluffy bois)
> 
> This is very early on in their relationship and at the moment they don't live together just yet

“There’s one small problem though..there’s only one bed.”

Phillip said as he turned on his heel to face his partner, who was already shedding his snow-covered coat. Phillip was sure his expression was nothing short of embarrassment and unsurity.

“That’s no problem, I can just sleep on the couch-” Phineas was interrupted by a particularly painful coughing fit as he removed his hat and scarf.

Phillip walked over, rubbing circles on his back, feeling the way his back moves with every heaved breath, “PT you’re in no condition to sleep on the couch, you’re lucky you haven’t passed out yet.”

“Since when did you become so doting over my health?” Phineas quipped, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe his mouth, “I’m not even that sick-”

“You had a high fever and I found you half awake in your dressing room and it took you an hour to realize I was even there in the first place.” Phillip cut him off, leading him to the bedroom, “You take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Phineas looked out the window towards the blizzard whirring and beating against the walls, feeling a shiver go down his spine, “It’s much too cold out, you’ll freeze sleeping on the couch.”

“Not if I have a fire and a few blankets, I’ve slept like a log in strange places before, PT.” Phillip removed his own coat, casting it off to a side table as he unbuttons the topmost button on his shirt, “I’m more worried about you and there’s no way you’re going to your house in this weather.”

Phineas shuffled in place, rolling up his sleeves, a slight blush on his cheeks -- not just from his high fever -- “Well, since we were just outside, I think it would be better if we just..you know, stay warm together-” he coughed once again, nearly doubling over,

Phillip smirks down at him, rubbing his back once again, “Aren’t you the ambitious one? We’ve only been partners for a few months and you already want to share a bed.”

Phineas narrowed his eyes at him, “In case you have forgotten, we’ve done way more than sharing a bed since we’ve been together.” he paused, “Besides, this is a matter of preserving our warmth.” he stood up straight, pulling on his cravat.

“Sure, ‘warmth’.” Phillip quips, wrapping his arm around Phineas’ waist to help him stay upright, “Now that I think about it, we’ve never really slept in a bed together, have we?”

Phineas smiled down at him, “Do I need to buy you a dinner sometime in return for this? Maybe even a wedding dress?”

The younger blushed, nudging Phineas on the side, making him giggle helplessly as he opened the door to his bedroom. Phillip got up on his tiptoes to kiss his lover on the cheek, “There should be some clothes in my closet that’ll fit you, I’ll go make some tea. I found a recipe that helps people with colds, hopefully that will be okay until we can get you to a doctor.”

“Phil, I told you I-”

“I don’t care how much you hate the doctors, once this storm clears we’re going because I know you won’t go on your own.” Phillip cuts him off, unbuttoning more buttons on his shirt, “You realize they’re just trying to do their job, right?”

“You know I hate them! Especially when that one nurse forgot to give me pain medications simply because he didn’t like my shows after I broke my arm a while ago! Or when I was given too much and I nearly busted my skull open on a table because of how disoriented I was!-” he coughed again, sitting on the bed, “Not to mention they just constantly give me judgemental looks.”

Phillip rolled his eyes, “PT, I’ll be right there with you this time and I’ll comfort you, but I would rather you be healthy then crippling with a cold because you refused to go.” he felt his forehead, retracting his hand, “You know I love your ambition, hell it’s one of the first things that I started to love about you, but sometimes you need to sit back and relax for a moment. Do you understand?” Phillip lowered himself onto Phineas’ lap, cupping his face, leaning in to kiss his cheek again.

Phineas looks down and away from Phillip, wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him closer, “I’m sorry...I worried you a lot, didn’t I?”

“Only a little, okay maybe a lot, but as long as you promise to relax for a little while all is forgiven.” he smiled at him, “Don’t apologize, Phineas.”

Phineas looked back at him, leaning on his shoulder as another round of coughs wrack his body, “I-” he cleared his throat, “God I adore you so much, Phillip.” he leaned back, Phillip laying on top of him, pressing a kiss to Phillip’s neck feverishly.

Phillip’s eyes flutter shut, but before he could get completely lost, he sat up quickly, “PT, you’re not in any condition for this either.” Phillip adjusted his shirt, realizing he was straddling Phineas, “Just..get dressed..and I’ll go make tea. Try to rest, okay?”

Phineas made an annoyed sound, rolling on the mattress, “Fine..”

“When you’re better I’ll be happy to indulge you.” he pressed a brief kiss to Phineas’ lips, “Love you, my problematic ringmaster.”

Phineas pouted, “Says the one who complains every time you run out of product for your hair-”

“First of all, I value my appearance and I know for a fact you used my hair gel for-”

Phineas nudged Phillip off of him, “It was your fault for leaving it next to the oil.” he chuckled when Phillip smiled stupidly at him. After a moment of just staring, Phineas muttered, “I can’t wait until you can move in.”

“Neither can I.” Phillip kissed his forehead, “I’ll be right back, dear.”

Phineas’ heart flipped in his chest at the nickname, standing up on wobbly legs to move towards the closet.

***

Later on that evening, the two of them curled up on one another, holding each other close as the storm roared just outside the window. Of course Phineas could hardly get any sleep the many days prior, but with Phillip’s remarkably strong arms wrapped around his chest, sleep seemed to find him so much easier that night.

Of course if they knew this would have made Phillip sick, they wouldn’t have cuddled up so close, but at this moment spent with each other, basking in their shared warmth under the many blankets on the bed, neither of them had a care in the world.


	20. Solitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G
> 
> Warnings: none, but a lotta hurt phin though

He had thought he’d prepared himself for this day, every agonizing minute of dread in his chest in preparation for this meant nothing when he finally signed the papers. Phineas knew he messed up, he made too many mistakes and he knew Charity could only handle so much of his craziness at once. He expected this to happen after several tense months after reopening the circus, the several nights he and Charity spent in separate rooms, the many times that their childhood love waned until Charity decided it would be better for them and their daughters if they parted ways.

Phineas objected, he simply couldn’t imagine a world without his wife in it, without his daughters, but after a few hours and many tears between the two of them, it was decided it was ultimately better as both of them noticed their love they once had just..ceased to exist between them since the scandal.

That morning when they decided to split, it was impossible for Phineas to pull himself from his bed, it was impossible to face his daughters knowing their lives would change so much because of this. Of course he and Charity decided not to tell them until they were older, but that won’t make it any less awful for them when they won’t live in a household with both parents in it. Charity had to be the one to get him up, but as soon as he got up he just wanted to crumble, asking if there’s anyway to save this, if there’s anything he could do so he wouldn’t have to go through with this.

Charity kissed him so gently, her own voice wavering when she told him they both had lost their chance to save it, assuring him that she still loves him and would still love to stay in his life, but she simply can’t keep this facade up forever. They hugged each other so tightly, neither one of them wanted to do this, but they had to.

They walked out of their house, but their hands weren’t intertwined, a small gap separating them as they walked up to the carriage, Caroline and Helen running ahead of them. They made preparations for Lettie to watch over them for a few days while Charity and Phineas take some time to recuperate from this.

Phineas found it harder and harder to wear a smile as they got closer to the town, only managing a joyful facade for the sake of his amazing daughters. Charity kept a hand on his back, knowing how much tension he was holding to keep himself together.

Once the papers were signed, Phineas’ heart sank into the floor and shattered into pieces. He took deep breaths to keep himself together as he looked at his, now, ex-wife, already missing her to the point of madness. She clasped his shaking hand as they exited the room, both of their heads hanging low.

_ Deep breaths, Barnum, you knew this was going to happen, you’re the one who started this mess. _

He tightened his grip on Charity’s gloved hand, looking over to her, only to rasp quietly, “I’m sorry, Chairy...for everything.”

Charity cupped his jaw in her other hand, her own eyes starting to water, “I know, Phin…”

“I-I love you so much, Charity..” he said desperately, hoping she would change her mind so he wouldn’t have to walk back alone.

_ Alone...I’m alone again. _

“I love you too, Phineas.”

“A-are you...are you sure there’s nothing we can do…” he blinked away the tears forming in his eyes.

Charity shook her head, a single tear rolling down her face. Phineas’ hand shook too much for him to lift it up, to wipe the offending tear away.

“I’ll call you in a month, I promise, you’ll get to see the girls then..I just need some time to myself.” she ran a hand through Phineas’ dark hair, “And so do you, Phin.” she swallowed thickly, “Please don’t forget that I love you, Phin, you mean the whole world to me whether we’re married or not.” she lets go of his hand, turning to face the carriage waiting for her, “These past years have been the best years of my life, all those letters you sent me still warm my heart every time I read them.” she kissed him on the cheek, then on the mouth for the final time, “You were, and still are, everything I could have ever wanted.”

Charity gives him one last hug before turning to exit, leaving Phineas standing on the sidewalk all by himself, watching as her carriage disappeared on the street.

Phineas allowed himself to sob once, covering his face as he quickly walked into his own carriage, realizing how quiet it is without his children in it, without his wife's --  _ ex-wife’s _ \-- calming breath or heart beat in his ear. The trip was unbearable, but he kept himself from collapsing onto the floor of the carriage, fidgeting with is hat, taking in deep, shaky breaths as he got closer to the mansion -- the exact mansion he and Charity would venture in as kids, the exact one he got for Charity and his daughters, the one he nearly lost in his own greed -- and it pained him that he had no one there with him.

He thanked the driver, paying him, then quickly heading back inside to hide from the world, hoping he can calm down after a long rest. But as soon as he closed the great doors behind him, as soon as he turned to face his big,  _ empty _ house, he crumpled to the floor with a loud cry, burying his face in his hands.

_ Alone again. _

Phineas barely managed to pick himself up, only to collapse onto the couch in the living room, the only sound being his own cries echoing off the walls. He’s such a fool, a moron..he wasted his one chance at happiness for his own selfish needs. And thanks to him, the one woman who brought any happiness in his life was gone and as were his daughters. For once he just wanted to crawl into a hole to die, his chest hurt after every heaving breath he took as he cried onto a pillow.

He, like his house, just felt so  _ empty _ , like a chunk of his heart got ripped out of his chest and smashed before his eyes. It’s all too much. He walked towards his study, about to pick up the phone to call..anyone! Just anyone! He knew he couldn’t call Charity, she needed time to herself and he couldn’t just call her in tears after everything. He couldn’t call Lettie because she was with his girls, and there was no way he would be held responsible for ruining her mood. He thought of calling Phillip, but he didn’t want to drag him down after everything he’s been through already, he couldn’t possibly do that. He paced back and forth, his hands in his hair as he tried to collect himself once again, but found it hard without someone being there.

Phineas raised his head towards the liquor cabinet. He promised Phillip he would stop drinking, but he just needed to feel anything else than the crippling loneliness in his heart. Maybe he could drink enough to forget this ever happened, even for a moment, just to feel some hint of joy in his heart.

***

Phillip hasn’t seen him all day. He never arrived to work after he and Charity dropped off the girls. But he can’t say he didn’t expect it to happen after he heard they were separating, but he at least expected to see Phineas make an appearance before going to be by himself.

Phillip checked the time on his clock: nearly one o’clock in the morning. With a heavy sigh, he got up from his chair to head towards his bedroom.

Suddenly, his phone rang.

_ Who could be calling him  this early in the morning? _

It rang a few times before Phillip picked it up, “Phillip Carlyle speaking.” he said with a slight grumble, he was quite tired.

“H-Hi Phil, it’s PT.”

Phillip raised an eyebrow, Phineas is never up this late when he isn’t working, “Oh, PT I didn’t expect a call from you. Is everything okay?”

There was a brief pause with a few hiccups on the other end of the line before Phineas responded, “I-I’m perfect, never better, but..” Phillip heard the distinct sound of a sob, “W-would it be too much trouble for you to come over?”

Phillip looked outside, “It’s past midnight-”   


“ _ Please? _ ” Phineas said desperately, his tone wavering.

Phillip thought for a second, growing increasingly concerned when he realized how slurred Phineas’ words sounded, worrying that something was wrong, “I’ll..be over as soon as I can, just sit tight, okay?”

“O-okay, thank you, Phil.”

“Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“No, no I’m okay. Please hurry.”

The call suddenly dropped, “PT? Phineas??” Phillip set the phone down, hurrying to get his coat and scarf, forgoing his hat, “Shit, PT what the hell is going on.” he whispered to himself as he grabbed his keys and pocket watch, leaving his apartment in a hurry.

  
  


Phillip arrived at Phineas’ house within a few hours, paying the driver extra to go as fast as he could. He reached out, knocking on the door.

“PT, it’s Phillip.”

No answer, not even a sound.

Phillip pushed on the door, “PT please open..up?” the door opened a little, it seemed that Phineas forgot to lock it. He walked into the mansion, looking around, feeling a sense of familiarity after the many nights he was invited over here on behalf of Phineas, “PT are you here?”

The house felt unnatural when there was no sound. Then he heard the sound of cries, faint and distant like a whisper, echoing off the walls from the upper level. Phillip quickly walked towards the stairs, tracking down where the cries were coming from, his pace quickening when it seemed to get louder and louder.

There was a light coming from Phineas’ study, the source of the crying able to be heard clearly from the other side. Phillip’s heart raced and dropped all at once, hurrying inside to find Phineas, usually so confident and proud, crumpled in a heap on the ground, an empty bottle in his hand as he cried to himself.

“Oh my god.” Phillip said as he ran over, kneeling beside Phineas’ form, taking the bottle from his hand. He looked so composed earlier, so like his usual self, but now he doesn’t even recognize him, “Phineas, look at me, it’s me.” he shook his shoulders gently, “It’s Phillip.”

Phineas turned his head a little, shaking as he rasped out, “ _ Phillip..’s you..you’re here… _ ”

Phillip sat him up, pulling him into his arms, holding Phineas as tight as he could, “Yeah, it’s me, I’m here for you..”

“ _ I-I fucked up, Phillip, I shouldn’t have left everyone, I should have listened to you, I should have listen to everyone. Now Ch-Chairy’s gone, she doesn’t want anything to do with me, I- _ ” he stopped, gripping onto Phillip’s coat, “ _ I’m so scared, P-Phillip, I don’t want to be alone anymore, I can’t do this a-alone.. _ ”

Phillip’s heart ached in his chest, he’s never heard Phineas sound like this before, so open and vulnerable. It’s so unlike him. Phillip rubbed his back, holding him as tight as he could as Phineas cried on his shoulder.

“Phineas, it’s going to be okay, she still loves you, everyone does, you’re not alone.” Phillip tried to keep it together. For him. He pulled back to look Phineas in the eye, his own eyes watering at the sight of Phineas crying his eyes out, his eyes red and raw, slightly glassy from the alcohol, “It’s alright, you can be open with me..” he grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

“ _ I-I’m sorry I left you, Phillip, for everything. I only destroy everything I love _ …” Phineas cried out, “ _ I miss her so much, Phil, I c-can’t do this..I miss my girls, I-I’m going to miss so much of their lives because I was so s-stupid… _ ” he clinged to Phillip’s cravat, his eyes barely able to stay open.

“You’re not stupid, Phineas, they’ll still be there and you’ll be able to see them in no time.” Phillip stood up, helping the elder to his feet, noticing the stumble and shaking of his legs, “You need rest.”

“ _ I don’t want to be a-alone.. _ ”

“You don’t need to worry..I’ll sleep beside you.” Phillip wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him upright as he led them to the master bedroom.

Phineas had no more tears in his eyes to shed, but spasmed when they walked into the room, sobbing emptily as he recalled the times before everything went wrong, when he and Charity would sleep here together.

Phillip helped him into his night clothes and tucked him into bed, laying beside him as he blew out the lantern beside Phineas. Phineas immediately clung to Phillip, hiding his face in his chest. Phillip figures it’s the alcohol making Phineas so open, knocking down his usual sense of propriety as he clings to Phillip like a heartbroken little boy.

But Phillip didn’t care. He said he would be there for Phineas and he damn well will stick with it. He pulls Phineas close, trying to ease him to sleep.

The elder fell asleep soon after, seemingly from the emotional exhaustion he avoided the whole day. Phillip fell asleep soon after.

\------

Phillip woke up to the sound of Phineas emptying his stomach in the toilet just beside the master bedroom. He must have drank a lot before Phillip arrived.

He got up from the bed to pat his back and hold back his hair, muttering reassurances to him as Phineas hid his face between his arms, shielding himself from the morning sun going through the windows. Phillip left only to get him a glass of water and pain medication.

He knows it will take a while before Phineas goes back to his usual, cheerful self, but if that means Phillip would have to help him through it, well he didn’t mind that at all.

Later on that day Phillip offered to house Phineas at his apartment, just to get him away from this place to heal properly. Phineas refused at first, but after another emotional outburst and a few more cups of tea, he eventually conceded.

If he had known months later he would feel like the luckiest man in the world to be able to have Phillip in his arms, if he had known that he would grow to love Phillip as much as he loved Charity, he would curse himself for not calling him sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think I would just let him stay hurt, did you?


	21. Retail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G
> 
> Im not terribly proud of this one, but i hope you all enjoy \o/ i just wanted some sappiness after the pain of the last chapter

“Oh! Phillip look at that!” Phineas darted over to a nearby cart full of small trinkets and jewelry, his eyes landing right on a silver lantern.

Phillip huffed as he followed him, feeling momentary whiplash from having to turn around three times just to find his overactive puppy of a partner standing over the cart, holding and observing the silver lantern.

He rolled his eyes, “Phin, for the last time, we’re just here to get groceries, just because we have a decent amount of money doesn’t mean we should go spending it all without thinking twice about it.”

“But it looks so pretty, maybe I should get this for Charity..” he turned the spinning part, his eyes following the intricate carvings on the sides of it, “But it’s also expensive..”

Phillip put a hand on his shoulder, “Phin, we can get that later when we don’t have important-”

“Phil! Oh my God!” Phineas put down the lantern gently before running over to another cart.

“-Errands.” Phillip looked towards the owner of the booth, “Sorry about my friend, he’s a little all over the place- shit where did he go?” with that he quickly went after his partner, looking around the crowd for the signature black top hat, “Phin? Phineas where did you-” he looks towards a booth full of stuffed toys, then eyes the ringmaster looking intently at a large elephant plushie with wide eyes, “Of course..”

Phillip stepped up beside him, not saying anything, simply looking at Phineas from the side.

“Phil.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“I want him.” Phineas reached out for the plushie.

“ _ Phin _ . Groceries.” Phillip grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him towards the direction of the general store,

Phineas reached out pitifully, “But look at him! And I wasn’t going to get it for me, Helen would love something like that..I would just keep it safe in the house until she could come over.” he sighed, “Come on, please?”

Phillip rolled his eyes again, letting go of Phineas’ shirt when he realized he was following him, “Stay focused, dear.” he said low, making sure no one could hear him, “We shouldn’t buy things off of the list that we don’t need.”

“You don’t understand, I  _ need _ him.”

Phillip tried to force back a laugh, “Phin, you’re not being secretive at all, I hope you realize that.”

It was Phineas’ turn to roll his eyes, “Excuse me for being a good parent.”

“Phin, knowing them they would love even the smallest of gifts from you, you don’t need to constantly give them things. You don’t want to spoil your daughters too much now.”

Phin huffed in defeat, “Fair enough.” He tried not to look upset, but ended up pouting as he added, “So what do we need to get again?”

***

After a long day of grocery shopping, the two of them began their trek back to their apartment, laughing to themselves as they talked wildly of ridiculous stories from the Circus during their last show, several bags of groceries in hand.

Phillip stopped just before the entrance to their apartment complex, pretending to be shocked as he exclaimed, “Phin, I forgot I needed to take care of something real quick, can you carry these the rest of the way?” Phillip held out the bags of food,

“Sure, what’s the sudden hurry for?” Phineas took the bags as best as he could,

“Nothing important, just a quick trip to the post office. I’m expecting a package from a friend of mine.” Phillip took out his pocket watch, checking the time, “I should be back home soon.”

Phineas chuckled, “Should I be expecting to be awake a few hours longer than normal tonight then?”

Phillip’s face warmed a little, “No, now off with you!” Phillip pushed him towards the entrance to the apartment complex.

“Bossy.” Phineas leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, “Love you, darling.”

Phillip smiled, looking one last time before heading back to the marketplace, passing by the post office towards the booths.

\-------

The sun had already set hours before, the younger hurrying his steps up to their fairly sized flat holding a package out in front of him. He figured the elder was still awake so he knocked on the door, “Phin?”

“Coming!” he heard the sound of footsteps heading towards the door only to step back after the door opens in a flourish, “Perfect timing, I just started to make dinner.” he leaned forward to kiss Phillip on the lips briefly, “You took your time getting that..whatever it is.” Phineas eyed it suspiciously.

“There was a lot of people expecting mail today.” he sniffed the air, “What are you making, anyways?”

“Ah ah, that’s a secret until you tell me what’s in that box.” Phineas tapped it a few times before heading back to the kitchen.

“Well..” Phillip smirked, “I was having trouble opening it, so would you mind opening it for me?” he held it out in front of him expectantly.

Phineas crossed his arms, walking back towards Phillip with a raised brow, “If this is anything like the last ‘gift’ you got me, I should say that I’m expecting nothing less.”

Phillip shrugs off his coat, “Well, why not you find out?”

Phineas smiled down at the box before setting it on the table, opening it easily, “If you were having problems with this I should say I’m worried you’re not physically...fit..anymore.” his smirk fell as he dug through the tissue paper, “What the-?” his jaw immediately dropped with a smile, looking back at Phillip, “You didn’t-”

“I wanted to.” Phillip sat down across from him, his smile getting brighter as Phineas decided to pull out his present, “I couldn’t just not get you it after you eyed it so adorably.”

Phineas took out the exact elephant he was eyeing hours ago, covering his mouth as he hugged it tightly. He buried his face onto the soft fur of it, hugging it close to his chest, “I’m not adorable.”

Phillip giggled, moving to sit beside him, “Maybe not, but you are the cutest man I’ve ever met.” he kissed his cheek softly, “Before you ask, no I won’t tell anyone.”

Phineas leaned on his shoulder, “..Thank you..”

Phillip wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug, “Consider this an apology for accidentally hitting your head last week.”

Phineas huffed a laugh, kissing Phillip on the lips once again, “Apology accepted.” he placed the plushie on the couch, “Now if you’ll excuse me I need to make sure our meal doesn’t burn.” he added, heading back into the kitchen in a hurry.

Phillip leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed as he watched him work, a little extra energy in his step and a permanent smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, Phineas definitely ""doesn't"" keep it in his room all the time.


	22. Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: EXPLICIT
> 
> (graphic depictions of sex)
> 
> This was very quickly written so I apologize in advance if it's a little incoherent (past tense? present tense? never heard of it)

The two men stumbled into their flat, leaning on one another as they giggled helplessly, giving each other flirtatious smirks. As soon as Phineas shut the door, the two of them came together in a clash of teeth and tongues, stripping off their clothing while keeping their lips locked in a passionate kiss, growling into each other’s mouths.

Phillip pinned the elder to the wall, having been a little less drunk than him due to years of developing a high tolerance for alcohol, keeping him in place as he explored his mouth freely, his partner eventually conceding with defeat. Phillip’s hands moved deftly to undo the buttons on his shirt, wandering the exposed flesh with hunger. He pulled back to look at his partner -- open, exposed, his face a light pink with sweat forming on his chest and brow, an obvious bulge in his trousers -- only to grab the small of his neck with a commanding: “Bed. Now.”

Phineas nods, the drunkenness leaving him as he’s pressed onto their bed, Phillip laying on top of him as he continued their kiss, his hands going to his hips and thighs, squeezing them possessively. 

Suddenly, Phillip wanted another drink, but he’s lost his taste for whiskey the moment they left the bar.

Phillip began to press open-mouthed kisses down the elder’s body, leaving bruising love bites as he roamed lower and lower, his hands pushing the ringmaster’s legs apart when his head settled between his thighs. Phineas tensed noticeably with a blissful sigh, his hands grabbing the blankets around him, kneading them as he rolled his hips. Phillip looked up his gorgeous body once more before slowly unbuttoning his pants, kissing around his clothed thighs, humming on his skin. 

The elder’s legs tensed at this, his abdomen going taut as his pants were lowered to expose his cock -- already hard and throbbing -- then lowering them further down to mid thigh. Phillip wasted no time with the foreplay as he leaned forward, kissing along the base of it down to his sac, relishing in the blissful sound it earned him. Any and all need to rush this leaves Phillip, deciding to take his time breaking down Phineas’ resolve, kissing around his thighs and hole, but never properly touching him.

Phineas’ back arched gorgeously, his legs spreading and tensing with a low moan, “Phil…” he said breathlessly,

“Mm?” Phillip hummed just at the base of his cock.

Phineas stuttered a groan, biting his fist, “P-Please..”

Phillip chuckled, moving up to kiss his navel, then down to the coarse hairs around his cock, “Please  _ what _ , ringmaster?”

Phineas shivered, feeling a hint of embarrassment, “T-touch me..fuck, anything.” he covered his face in the crook of his elbow,

“Do you want my mouth~?” Phillip asks, palming himself a little,

Phineas nodded, his cock throbbing.

Phillip laughed derisively, lowering back down to Phineas’ cock, “As you wish,  _ ringmaster~ _ ” he purrs as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the wet head of his cock, earning a long and low moan from his lover.

Phillip, anxious to begin, licked a long stripe all the way from the base back up to the head, ending with a flourish of his tongue before beginning to lower his head slowly. Phineas’ legs go up slightly, his back tensing as a hand finds his Phillip’s soft hair, petting and pulling on it as he felt the hot and wet heat slowly encase his cock, rasping out desperate pleas and slurred encouragements. Phillip hummed around his cock, his thumbs rubbing circles on his inner thighs. He stopped halfway to let his mouth adjust to the pleasurable stretch, the heavy weight on his tongue, twirling his own tongue around his shaft. The hand in his hair tightens, pulling, encouraging him to move lower on him.

Phillip sighed once before completely lowering himself on Phineas’ cock, tasting a splash of salt on his tongue as he moans around it. Phineas’ is out of breath already, his heart racing in his chest as he thrusts up a little with a higher moan. Phillip looked up at the ringmaster before raising his head back up, only to drop it back down, only coughing once as he started to bob his head quickly.

Phineas’ is seeing stars as he’s overwhelmed by the pleasure of Phillip’s mouth moving on him so perfectly, his entire body shivering when Phillip hums or groans on him. His legs come further apart, only to trap Phillip’s head between them as he rocks his hips, chasing his blissful release with another moan.

Phillip coughs again when he feels the head of his cock strike the back of his throat. He can sense his partner is close already, the alcohol making his body more sensitive than it normally is, so he puts in extra effort, sucking and twirling his tongue more on him, his index finger wandering to tease around his hole. Phineas tensed warningly, pulling on his hair once again.

Phillip braced himself when he heard a telltale whine followed by a visible shudder, coming down Phillip’s throat with a high and loud moan, his head facing the ceiling as he bucked his hips into Phillip’s welcoming mouth.

Phillip closes his eyes, forcing himself to swallow every last drop, revelling in the intense scent of the man before him, moaning simply from the sounds Phineas is making.

Phineas is hardly coherent as he basks in his afterglow, his fingers massaging Phillip’s scalp, whispering endless compliments through loose-lips, head rolling off to the side. Phillip pulled his head back, giving one last kiss to his inner thigh before climbing back up, settling beside Phineas, pulling him into a soft yet filthy kiss.

Phineas felt a pang of pleasure upon tasting himself on Phillip’s lips, pulling the younger closer, rolling on top of him. Phineas growled into his mouth, grabbing Phillip’s hips tight enough to bruise.

Phillip pulls back with a smirk, “So eager, my ringmaster~”

“Well, I shouldn’t let that show go you put on go without a little reward.”

Phillip raises a brow, his smirk only growing, “Well?  _ Show me. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a whole new definition to the word drink but oh well


	23. Whump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: M 
> 
> (graphic depictions of violence and injury)
> 
> I'm sorry Phin xD

The cheering and laughter ceased all at once. The celebratory comments and pats on the back stopped as soon as their eyes landed on the figure limping into the tent, leaning on a pole.

Phillip felt a hand hit his shoulder, following it to Anne -- who hasn’t dared looking away from the wounded man -- she could only stutter out a quiet, “Phil, look.”

He narrowed his eyes at the figure hiding in the shadows, standing up slowly to move closer. As he got closer he could hear pained gasps for air, sharp hisses and groans as the man could hardly keep himself standing. Phillip’s eyes widened when his eyes landed on a familiar crimson fabric with gold adorning it, his heart stopping all at once.

“PT?” 

Phineas stepped out from the shadow, a pained smile on his face, “H-hey Phillip.” he gripped his side, as if trying to hide something, “A-am I interrupting something?”

“No, but-” Phillip’s eyes widened as he spotted a small pool of red forming just beside Phineas’ foot, “O-Oh my god-”

Suddenly, Phineas tripped forward, holding onto Phillip, “S-sorry to spoil the fun but I really need help right now.” he said quickly, his hands shaking, red staining Phillip’s white shirt.

Phillip turned, calling out for Anne, “Get help! He’s been injured!” Phillip hooked an arm under Phineas’ arms, helping him to the center ring, where most of the troupe have left to give them space, “Phineas what on Earth happened to you?” he said with a worrying look, the color leaving his face at the amount of blood pooling onto the ringmaster’s coat,

“Protestors- were going to attack the troupe- h-had to fight them off-” Phineas said through pants, his hand going back to grip his side, “D-didn’t notice one of them had a- a knife-” he was laid down on the ground gently, Anne retrieving a spare blanket to prop up Phineas’ head.

“Knife??” Phillip asked loudly, looking down to pull back the clothing to reveal blood staining through his shirt and his black and gold cravat. Phillip’s eyes roamed down his body, eventually focusing on an object protruding from Phineas’ side, blood all around it, “Oh my-”

Anne rushed in with Lettie and WD, gesturing towards the two men, “Phillip! What’s wrong?”

Phillip knew his face looked a little green as he leaned back on his heels, covering his mouth. WD kneeled across from him, his own eyes widening after spotting the knife. Phineas looked down at the knife, looking back to Phillip:

“I- didn’t realize he didn’t pull it out-”

Lettie sat beside his head, Anne moving beside Phillip, “Barnum what on Earth did you get yourself into..” she mumbled to herself.

Phineas tries to say something, but the only sound that leaves his lips is a loud shout as he felt a white-hot pain shoot up from his ribcage, reaching to grip onto Phillip’s hand. Phillip gripped it back, trying to keep himself together as he watches his friend, his  _ partner _ , writhe on the ground from his own injuries.

~~~

He knew once he heard the footsteps get closer to him that he had to remain on edge. Phineas didn’t know why he suddenly started running, but the moment he heard the sound of glass shattering followed by drunken laughter, he took off as fast as he could back to the circus. He knew he would be safe there.

As if by memory, he sharply turned the corners of the streets in an attempt to shake off the men beginning to chase him, searching for the docks desperately, ignoring the burning in his lungs and his heartbeat deafening all sound around him.

He’s stopped when he collides with one of the men attempting to cut him off, only for the both of them to fall onto the cold cobble floor. Luckily Phineas still has his coordination, so he quickly jumped onto his feet while the other man hardly moved. Phineas looked over the men, counting out four, all drunk with bad intentions in their eyes. 

He tried to reason with them, but all attempts made meant nothing when a fist nearly collided with his jaw. Phineas moved out of the way, trying to escape once again only for his collar to be yanked back, then being tossed like a dead weight against the brick wall. Phineas isn’t able to block the next fist that hits his nose, stumbling off to the side but keeps his fists up to block the next jab towards his stomach.

They sneer at him, laughing at him as each manages an attack on him. Phineas was gripped by his shoulders and pinned once again on the wall, but before he could say anything, Phineas slammed his forehead against the drunkards’, sending the man to the ground in an unconscious heap.

Phineas hardly had time to celebrate when his eye caught the glint of a blade, but before he could react, the pain in his side came first.

Time stopped for a moment as he looked down to see a knife being pushed into his body. Then he felt a moment of vertigo as he fell to the ground.

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was another intense pain coming from his rib cage and the sounds of the men shouting at him.

 

He didn’t know how long he was unconscious, but he knew the moment he woke up he had to hurry to the circus despite his body shouting at him to just lay there and let the veil of darkness cover him. He had to get back to the troupe, to Phillip.

~~~

Phillip didn’t know when he started crying, he didn’t know whether he felt the most intense pang in his chest when Phineas started crying or when he screamed as the knife was pulled from him.

Phillip forced himself to look away from the blood to stay focused on his partner, running a shaking hand through his hair, muttering low enough only for Phineas to hear:

“It’s okay, I’m here Phin, stay with me..”

Phineas could only whimper, moving as close as he could to Phillip, eventually resting his head on his lap. Phillip noticed a small patch of blood on the side of his head, the blood getting onto his pants and hand.

But he didn’t care, he wanted to make sure he would make it through this.

Phillip watched as Lettie and WD patched him up. WD kept a rag pressed against the stab wound as Lettie wrapped up his torso, Anne inspecting his head and other parts while comforting Phillip as best as she could. Phineas made a soft groaning sound, his face contorting slightly when WD started stitching up the wound (thankfully Anne brought a small med kit with her).

“Keep talking to him, Carlyle, he needs to stay awake.” Lettie said evenly as she finished up wrapping his torso.

Phillip nodded, looking back down at his pained lover, “Phin.” he murmured, “Phin are you awake?”

Phineas grunted, trying to sit up, only for Anne and Phillip to gently press down on his chest, “Wh-where- what’s-” he shivered, his face warming up gradually, “Ph-Phil?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s me Phin.” he turned the elder’s face so their eyes met, “Are you okay?”

The ringmaster huffed a pained laugh, “I-I’ve been better..is it hot in here?”

Anne felt his cheek and forehead, nodding at Phillip, “He feels warm, it was probably the cold that got to him.”

Phillip swallowed a lump in his throat, acknowledging Anne with a nod of his own. He looked back down at Phineas, whose eyes were squinted and unfocused, “I knew I should have went out to find you…”

Phineas shook his head, “I-It was too dangerous- w-would have gotten hurt..” he hissed as WD finished up his stitching, “C-can’t let you get h-hurt..”

Phillip wiped his eyes, “You scared me to death, Phin, I thought for a second-” Lettie cleared her throat, shaking her head at him, “I’m just glad you’re okay, dearest..”

After awhile of watching over Phineas to make sure he was stable, they moved him to a spare caravan that Phillip and him share every now and again to rest up and hopefully work past his fever. Phineas breathed out a sigh of relief when his aching body was laid onto the soft mattress, his wet clothes removed and replaced with a nightshirt. Phillip decided to stay there with him to make sure nothing would happen; he was reassured of course Phineas’ head injury wasn’t severe enough so he could rest, but Phillip still insisted on keeping him awake for another hour or so.

He eventually ended up resting beside Phineas, holding him as close as he could, listening to Phineas’ rapid breathing as his fever spiked, his injuries flaring up as well. All Phillip could do was hold him, shush him whenever he whimpered or cried out, shivering whenever a cold hand ran across his feverish skin. Phillip pulled up another blanket over the two of them, kissing Phineas’ forehead and cheek, whispering to him, keeping Phineas close to his body.

Even while Phineas was caught in a vortex of fever hallucinations, even when his injuries left him practically chained in one place, he found comfort in a calm heartbeat against his ear and a soothing voice easing him into a tender sleep, feeling safer than ever in the arms of his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're in the final stretch lads  
> (i think i had too much fun with this)


	24. Last Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G
> 
> This is a modern au in which Phin and Phil got into a car accident and Phin is seeing a therapist (even if Phin doesn't like or feels like he needs it)

Phineas hated going to these “therapy” sessions (if he can call a judgmental woman constantly trying to get him to talk of his trauma despite how often he's told her therapy), he never saw the point in it. But of course he kept going for Phillip, knowing full well his partner is worried for his well being.

Phineas leaned on a crutch as the two of them go up an elevator to the physical therapist. He groaned to himself, “Must we keep doing this? It’s pointless and all she does is patronize me on my age rather than wishing my recovery-”

“Phin, we’ve discussed this, you need the therapy. And there’s no shame in needing crutches or a cane after a knee injury like that.” Phillip rubs his back, “I’m just glad it wasn’t anything worse.”

“So? All she ever tells me is to not push myself and I certainly don’t considering you and Chairy keep me chained to bed when my knee acts up even a little.”

“Because we both know your habit of pushing yourself unnecessarily. Besides this is the last meeting with her, might as well go.” Phillip straightened his coat, looking down at Phineas’ knee, “Does it hurt?”

“No, Phillip, I’m okay.” Phineas grabbed his hand, “I took my medications like you have been hounding on me to remember.”

“Only because you never take it when I don’t tell you to.” Phillip wrapped an arm around his waist, “You know this is all for your own health, dear? I just want what’s best for you and your recovery.”

Phineas rolled his eyes, leaning on Phillip, “I know that. I just want to spend the few hours wasted here doing something else and not talking about the accident.” he shrugs his shoulders, “Like going out to dinner, seeing a movie, just anything else.”

“We can go see a movie after if you’d like.” Phillip brought a hand up to his hair, “We can celebrate you finishing your therapy sessions.”

Phineas nods, “That would be nice..although I would prefer if we didn’t drive this time.” he ends with a small laugh, “Maybe they’ll give us free tickets considering we were heading there the day of the accident.”

Phillip laughs a little, “I suppose, but we shouldn’t count on it. People nowadays aren’t as charitable as they used to be.” he kisses his cheek as the elevator opens, “Ready?”

Phineas exhales through his nose, kissing Phillip back, “As I’ll ever be.”


	25. Sanctuary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G (slight warning for illness and weaponry) 
> 
> Another AU i have in the works that i decided to write a small drabble over \o/

Phillip didn’t know when he passed out, only the feeling of the cold finally making him stop where he stood, his vision going hazy as the life slowly left him. The next thing he remembers is the feeling of snow on his face as he fell over, his crossbow falling from his loose grip.

Everything was dark, everything was quiet.

Then he woke up enveloped in warmth, the light of a fire in his eyes as he was practically swaddled in blankets. He couldn’t bring himself to move more than his head. Every part of him ached, every part of him hurt too much to think about, his chest especially.

The cabin looked pleasant, the walls and floor made of wood with paintings, photographs, and decorations adorning them, everything resembling what Phillip would picture as home. When he finally did decide to rise from the bed, a painful coughing fit took control over him, his eyes watering from the force of it. He wiped his forehead of the sweat beading it, looking towards the table beside the bed, noticing a glass of water and a plate of bread and crackers.

Phillip’s stomach growled as he reached over, ripping a chunk out of the bread and eating it, drinking the water to ease his scratchy throat. Fate must have been on his side for once for him to be rescued-

He stopped, realizing he heard footsteps approaching him. He’s in someone else’s house. They removed his clothes and replaced them with night clothes, they most certainly saw the Guild’s sigil on his chest.

He heard the door handle jiggle, then he was instinctively on edge. His head shot to the side table once again, noticing his satchel hanging off the handle of the top drawer. He dug through it, hastily.

The door opened slowly and he immediately whipped a knife from it, pointing it towards the door.

A tall man with tanned skin, dark hair, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows stood in the door frame wide eyed at the silver object being pointed at him. He walked slowly to the other desk in the room, setting down a tray of food and medicine to put his hands up.

“I’m not going to hurt you, stranger, it’s alright.”

Phillip tried to speak, but his voice was completely gone from the sickness consuming him.

“My name is Phineas, I found you outside passed out in the snow.” he approached him slowly, Phillip tightening his grip on the knife, “Can you put that down so I can make sure you’re okay?”

Phillip, despite his assassin instincts telling him to not trust this man, found himself lowering the knife, setting it on the desk beside him. He nods, his expression remaining cold and inquisitive.

Phineas sighed as he sat on the bed, “Look, I’ll explain everything in a moment, but I need to look you over, you were on the brink of death by the time I found you and I thought for certain you wouldn’t wake up for another few weeks.” he moved closer, extending his hand out, “What’s your name?”

Phillip cleared his throat, coughing as he said his name, taking the man’s hand in a tight grip. Phineas nodded, lowering Phillip back onto the bed, “You’re unwell, Phillip, you need to stay warm.” he paused, “But it’s a pleasure to meet you, I don’t often find people out here.”

Phillip took in a raspy breath, his eyes closing for a moment, “Glad- I could- entertain your evening-”

Phineas smiled, “It’s midday actually, you’ve been out for a little over two weeks.”

Phillip’s heart stopped for a moment, “What-?” he started coughing again, Phineas rubbing his chest,

“Well, you’ve been in and out of consciousness, but this is the only time you’ve held me at knife point.” he laughed half-heartedly, “You’re looking a lot better than when I found you.” he put his hand to Phillip’s forehead, “Certainly less feverish, but that cough may take a while to shake.”

Phillip sighed at the contact, his head rolling to the side. For all he knows, the Guild must think of him as a deadman now.

But now his curiosity is entirely focused at the man who gave him sanctuary out of, what he can assume, kindness. 


	26. Hunger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: M (for sexual events and implication but nothing explicit
> 
> here's something short and spicy for y'all -*eyes*-

Phineas knew the moment he caught a glimpse of that dark hunger in Phillip’s eye, he had no chance in resisting him.

When the show ended and the metaphorical curtains fell over it and he was pushed against the wall of his dressing room, Phineas lost the desire to fight against him, he wanted him just as much as Phillip did.

Like a drawstring drawn much too tight, the two of them collide in a flurry of clashing teeth and pawing at clothing, growling into each other’s mouths, writhing on one another. Phillip rolls his hips on Phineas’ clothed groin, forcing a stuttering groan from his lips. Phillip smirks, rolling once again, setting a rhythm to force more of those glorious sounds from the ringmaster.

Before Phillip could even get their clothes off, he heard a member of the troupe shouting for the ringmasters for help with something. Phillip turned his head, relishing in the soft whines from Phineas when he ceased all movement.

Phillip’s lecherous smirk doesn’t fall when he turns back to Phineas, who’s grip tightened on his coat.

“We still have a job to do, Phin dear, but,” he looks down at the undeniable bulge in Phineas’ trousers, “I don’t think you should go out like this.”

“Phil..”

“I’ll be right back, no touching, are we clear?” Phillip says with a sweet voice, his hands going onto Phineas’ hips, then back up to his chest,

Phineas whimpers, but nods in agreement, knowing Phillip would very well leave him like this if he misbehaved.

“Good, however,” he grips Phineas’ ass, kneading the flesh possessively, “I want you prepared by the time I get back. Can you do that for me?” Phillip asks, brandishing a bottle of oil from his inside pocket as he sat Phineas down on the small bed in the dressing room.

Phineas nods again, his body trembling with absolute  _ need. _

Phillip chuckles, leaning down to kiss Phineas once again, biting his lower lip between his teeth as he pulls back, murmuring, “Good boy~”

When the door shut, Phineas moaned to himself, thinking as he opened himself for Phillip how badly he hungered for him, anticipating the moment Phillip returns to claim him once again.


	27. Constellations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G
> 
> Naga AU cuteness \o/ (this is a pre-cursor to all previous ficlets in this collection)

They knew everyone was expecting them back soon, yet Phineas led them to a secluded spot in an open field, sneaking a basket and blanket as they slithered along, leaning on one another.

There was celebration inside the tent from their recent engagement announcement, but the two of them wanted some alone time after a few hours spent entertaining and accepting congratulations from the troupe.

Phineas set the blanket down in a flurry with the basket, pulling out a few sweets and a bottle of wine with two glasses. Phineas curled in a ball, leaving enough room for Phillip to settle between his coil, nuzzling on his chest as he took the glass, holding it out as Phineas poured him some. Phineas poured his own glass, kissing Phillip once on the cheek, his other arm wrapping around Phillip’s waist.

Phillip looked at his betrothed with awe and absolute love, sipping his wine. They knew it would take a lot of searching to find someone to officiate their wedding, but regardless they would only see each other as their wedded. Phineas’ attention was on the night sky, tracing the patterns of the many stars in his head, the light of the moon and stars bouncing off their shiny tails.

Phillip decided to look up as well, easily becoming entranced by the absolute beauty just overhead. Mixtures of blues and purples covered the sky, the whole entirety covered in stars of many colors. Phillip drank once again from his glass, leaning more on Phineas, purring quietly when he heard the steady beat of Phineas’ heart.

“It’s so beautiful out tonight, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars out all at once..” Phillip says in a whisper, holding the glass with two hands as his tail coiled around Phineas’ a little tighter.

Phineas chuckles once in his throat, pulling Phillip closer, “I figured we should celebrate in private, and what better time than now?” he gestured to the sky, “I knew you would love it as much as I do, and in my opinion it’s far more relaxing.”

Phillip nodded, pointing towards a bundle of stars, “That’s the constellation Leo, I remember seeing that in an astronomy book I read once as a teenager. And over there is Gemini, the twins.”

“Wow..” was all Phineas could say as he set his chin on Phillip’s shoulder, “I know I’ve said this a lot, and we certainly expressed it a few hours ago but..” he grabbed Phillip’s hand, the moonlight shining off the silver of the ring adorning his finger, “I really do love you, Phillip, no matter what.”

Phillip’s ear flicked, his cheeks warming up a little, “As do I, dearest. Even if neither of us can, you know..”

“I said no matter what, didn’t I? Whether we could bear a clutch or not won’t change how much I love you, you’re an amazing man and hopefully an even better husband down the road.”

Phillip’s heart swells, husband is certainly something he could get used to, “I never took you as the kind of man to be sappy, Mr. Barnum.” Phillip teases, setting his glass down as he rolled to face Phineas, his other hand going into Phineas’ hair, 

Phineas shrugged his shoulders, “Well call me a maple tree then, I’d express how much I love you everyday like this, but with our work schedule this will have to do.” Phineas laid back onto the ground, his glass being set beside Phillip’s.

Phillip giggles to himself as he leans forward to trap Phineas in a soft kiss, not pulling back as they explore each other’s mouths, their fangs clicking together as their tails intertwine, Phineas’ massive tail easily trapping Phillip in between.

Phillip pulled back, looking towards the tent off in the distance, “The others are probably getting worried, we should head back before someone sends a search party after us.”

Phineas groans, rolling his eyes.

“We can pick this up at the flat, dear.” Phillip placed a kiss on his cheek, Phineas’ face scrunching up as his ears flick a little, the tip of his tail flicking as well. Phillip laughed once more before moving off of Phineas, picking up his glass and downing it quickly, “Well? Come on then, we’re not being good hosts if we don’t stay with our guests.”

“I guess..” Phineas sat up, downing the rest of his own wine before getting up to pack up the blanket and basket.

Phillip wrapped an arm around Phineas’ waist, leaning his head on him as they headed back to their party, neither of them taking their eyes off the gorgeous stars overhead, even noticing a shooting star soaring across the starry canopy.

Phillip never believed in wishing on a star, but this time he closed his eyes, wishing for a happier life from now on with him and Phineas, wishing for good health on the both of them and, as unreachable as it is, he wished for a clutch to bear between the two of them.

Even if the wish is farfetched, and more than likely unable to actually happen, he wouldn’t trade the many moments he’s shared with his fiance over anything, and he swore that to the heavens he would be content even if things stayed just the way they are.

Phillip was, for a lack of better words to suit the warmth in his chest and the leap of his heart as he looks back at Phineas, finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -*throws confetti*- WE DID IT LADS, FINALLY DONE!
> 
> If you would like to see more from me, please comment and kudos below (although I may need a long nap after all of this writing) if you want to follow my social media I am nerdy-snowflake on tumblr
> 
> This has been one hell of a ride and it was very fun to share and write down stuff thats been in my head for eons. I'd like to thank the admins on the TOS Discord for setting up and hosting this event and all my friends who encouraged me to write (im looking at you schiz). I have a few projects in mind after doing this and I hope to write an actual full-fledged fic soonish
> 
> Have a lovely day  
> ~PT


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